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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627904">You Are Now On Trending</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuincyTeardrop/pseuds/QuincyTeardrop'>QuincyTeardrop</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Vaulters [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>GoopCast, Lunch Club, Lunch Club Podcast, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Acrobat TommyInnit, Acrobatics, Aerial silks, Art, Clay | Dream Angst, Clay | Dream Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Digital Art, Digital Artist Jschlatt, Digital Painting, Family Dynamics, Gen, How Do I Tag, Jschlatt Angst, Jschlatt Angst (Video Blogging RPF), Light Angst, No Romance, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parkour, Sad Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Sad Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Swearing, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit Swears (Video Blogging RPF), Traceur Clay | Dream, Vaulters Family Dynamics, im looking at you nuetella, my cool n new sexy au, uwu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-04-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:15:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,093</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27627904</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuincyTeardrop/pseuds/QuincyTeardrop</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy was always a performer at heart, always trying to do stunts and tricks in game and in real life. He was someone who latched onto someone's attention.  But sometimes too much attention can be overwhelming. Especially when you've been number one trending on every social media platform for more than a day.</p><p>So maybe it should have been expected, but they're kind of excited about what's going to happen. Before they strap in and enjoy the ride though, they should probably stop Schlatt's "normal routine" of only eating a single fucking fruit for dinner. Honestly can't blame him wish I could do that too lmao.</p><p>Woo boy, someone get the popcorn ready. It's about to get wild.</p><p>Or basically, Tommy exposes himself, and later on exposes two more of his friends accidentally.</p><p>Edit: 10,000 HITS ON 01/13/2021 THANK YOU SO MUCH GUYS<br/>Edit: 20,000 HITS ON 02/11/2021. WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS-<br/>Edit: 30,000 hits on 04/27/2021 guys are you okay</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alexis | Quackity &amp; Jschlatt, Clay | Dream &amp; Floris | Fundy, Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit, Eret &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Jschlatt &amp; Noah | Hugbox, Jschlatt &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Karl Jacobs and TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Time Deo &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp; Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit &amp;; Clay | Dream &amp;; Jschlatt (Video Blogging RPF), TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF) &amp; Everyone, Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Vaulters [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019955</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>579</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1931</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Steps to Getting Exposed</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SprungSick/gifts">SprungSick</a>.</li>


        <li>
            Inspired by

            <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27413989">Performer At Heart</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/SprungSick/pseuds/SprungSick">SprungSick</a>.
        </li>

    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I realized I like Acrobat Tommy but I also like family dynamics between Jschlatt, Dream and Tommy. Now look where that got me.<br/>Also THIS FUCKING SUCKS LMAOOOOOO</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy is two steps into exposing himself all because of a silly little joke.<br/>Now his two friends just warned him and now he realizes his actions. Think before you fucking act Tommy.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy was- no, IS a talented kid.</p><p>Not only that, he was nice and thoughtful too. Even if it didn't seem like it on screen. He truly cared for his friends and family. He latched onto them, as if they would disappear once he would let go. But during these times, these important moments of need...he couldn't help but despise them sometimes. Especially Wilbur. God, how he fucking hated that man right now.</p><p>"FUCK!" Tommy exclaims right as a creeper blows up beside him. The 'You Died!' text on his screen was taunting him as the chat spammed the letter f, showing their sympathy. Or they could be just taunting him too, I don't know. "Tommy, what happened to being the 'Big Man' of Minecraft?" Wilbur's voice suddenly piped up. Oh.</p><p>Tommy forgot he was in a discord call with Wilbur, Techno, Phil and his best friend Tubbo. "I AM A BIG MAN ON MINECRAFT WILBUR, IT'S JUST- THE CREEPER PUT ME OFF GUARD!" Tommy shouted into the mic. If he continued shouting like that, he would get a sore throat the next day. "Or he could be lying." Techno's usual monotone voice had a hint of amusement in it. Tommy could feel his anger and frustration get the best of him.</p><p>"Look, I AM good at Minecraft-"</p><p>"Really? Then what was that classic creeper kill right there?"</p><p>"I JUST DIDN'T NOTICE!"</p><p>"Tommy, Tommy, not everyone is good at Minecraft, just let it go."</p><p>"Look, how about you find something else you're good at and show us what it is-"</p><p>"FINE!" </p><p>The call went silent, as everything seemed to stay still in time. "...oh really?" Tubbo asked after a few seconds or so, interested in where this conversation was heading. "SEE EVEN TUBBO DOESN'T KNOW THAT YOU'RE GOOD AT SOMETHING BESIDES MINECRAFT-"</p><p>"Correction. Besides nothing." Tommy sighed as he covered his face with both of his hands. "Oh shut up Wilbur!" "Wait, wait, Tommy, what ARE you good at?" Tubbo asked in the midst of all the shouting. "Well, I'm good at- uh..." He trailed off, trying to think of something to say. "See? He isn't responding!" "LET ME THINK TECHNO." Tommy looked around his room for a second before his eyes landed on something off the camera. There to his right was a wall adorned with multiple medals (most of them gold mind you), trophies and certificates. "Wait- wait here for a sec chat." He says as he walks away from the camera.</p><p>"He's going through the phase of acceptance." He heard Technoblade's voice say through his headphones for a brief second, before they all burst into laughter in the call. He was now standing right in front of his dubbed "Wall of Success," a title that was written right on the very top of the wall in a handwriting that would be assumed belonged to a little child. </p><p>He remembers when he was just 4 years old, looking through the multiple windows of a mall that held so many big and shiny things- his eyes so full of amusement and curiosity. It was just a small workshop, is all. He saw multiple people on mattresses, with someone roaming around every now and then as they checked on them. </p><p>They were bending their arms, legs and feet that Tommy couldn't help himself to be intrigued in what they were doing. "Mum?" He tugged on his mother's long coat, his hand clenched tight in his father's bulky hand. </p><p>"What's wrong, Tomathy?" A nickname that was given to him by his grandmother, but she passed away when he was 3. "My name's Tommy." He pouted, but his eyes were still glued to the people in the workshop. They were supposed to go to the park today, and Tommy loved the park.Whatever made him stop must've truly taken his attention and interest if he decided to stop. By this rate, the park would close after an hour. His mom followed his sight of direction, her eyes widening once she saw what made her son come to an abrupt stop. </p><p>"Can we go inside?" He asks as he looks up at her. She looks at him, unsure as she bites her lip. Tommy would later understand that she was worried of him getting made fun of holding such a talent. Being an acrobat could be weird in someone else's eyes, but Tommy would know from heart in the future that they just didn't understand the art of acrobatics, and honestly? He pitied them. They just stood still by the window awkwardly, a young couple with a small child right next to some random building. Thankfully, his dad came to the rescue. He crouched down to Tommy's height as he ruffled his hair. "Do you want to go inside, Tommy?" Tommy grinned wide as he began to drag them into the workshop.

</p><p>"Hey, Wilbur?" He shouted a bit lightly this time to show mercy to his throat. "I think I found something I'm actually good at." Tommy walks back to his chair as he puts on his headphones. He was going to regret that after a few seconds. "WHAAAAAAAAAAT!?" Technoblade suddenly shouted as Tommy winced from the loud volume.</p><p>"TOMMYINNIT IS ACTUALLY GOOD AT SOMETHING??? NOT CLICKBAIT???" Everybody laughs, but soon after Phil speaks up.</p><p>"Okay guys, that's enough of teasing Tommy, okay? It's getting pretty late." Tommy smiles at the camera. "Phil, you're the only bitch here that I actually respect." </p><p>"What about me?" Tubbo asks. </p><p>"You're my best friend Tubbo of course I respect you-" </p><p>"TommyInnit actually being nice not clickbait-"</p><p>"SHUT UP WILBUR-"<br/>
------------</p><p>It was exactly 14 minutes after he ended the stream when he received a message in discord. He opened the app and suddenly paled. </p><p>  <strong>our local tea kettle</strong><br/>
<em>Tommy I swear to god if the fucking talent you're going to demonstrate is your weird flexy shit you just dug your own g r a v e</em></p><p>  <strong>Funny goat man</strong><br/>
<em>What he said</em></p><p>  <strong>A Real Man</strong><br/>
<em>shit</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THIS FUCKING SUCKS LMAOOOOO<br/>Edit: da fuk it's exactly 1000 words</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. A Ram, A Man, and A Tea Kettle Ran</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p><strong>@dream</strong><br/>yooo tommy please give me back my shoes i need to go run around hahaha<br/>|<br/><strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>If by running around is jumping on people's rooftops then no.<br/>|<br/><strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>We're in twitter you fucking morons<br/>|<br/><strong>@dream</strong><br/>Oh no<br/>Guess we'll have to expose you too :)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy liked to think he was a man. A big man who is fully capable of taking care of himself. Which was kind of true, since he was able to move into a house by the age of 16 (his parents thankfully trusted his friends, after all he did kind of grew up with them. He still visited them once a week though.). He had his own room, knew how to cook for himself, and how to handle the house while the others were away or were too busy.</p><p>Dream thought of himself as someone very responsible. 21 years old, and he already knew how to pay taxes! It was great. He knew how to balance time for his friends and family outside of his YouTube career, and took caution whenever he was outside, just in case one of them would recognize him from his voice. Pft. As if that would happen. If he could stay in a bus full of people wearing his merch with him in the midst of it all, he could totally take care of himself.</p><p>Schlatt is composed and calm. He knew how the business world worked, and he used that to his advantage. He looked at weaknesses as strengths, and always looked at other people as his equals. Even if he acts rude around them. He survived being tossed around with his parents from house to house, until he finally found a home suitable for him and the people he loved. </p><p>One of these sentences in each paragraph is a lie. </p><p>Because Tommy didn't want to be a man. He didn't want to mature, he wanted to stay careless of the horrors of the world, to keep that small tint of innocence left in him.</p><p>Because Dream wasn't responsible. He entered situations without thinking, because damn him if he didn't do something then and there when someone was calling out for help.</p><p>Because Schlatt wasn't composed and calm. He panicked over every little thing he did, especially every comment and joke he made around his friends and the community he built.</p><p>So, Tommy was thankful that both Schlatt and Dream were the "men" of their group.</p><p>Dream was always grateful when Tommy and Schlatt saved him from his own actions.</p><p>Schlatt praised Tommy and Dream for their strategic and calm demeanor that left him feeling safe in their presence.</p><p>But sometimes they each lost their special braincell which helped the group function. And it was evidenced by the fact that Tommy, Schlatt, and Dream still haven't done anything to stop the dreaded day where Tommy was supposed to show off his skills in acrobatics in front of thousands of people.

</p><p>"In all honesty though, should we even be doing anything to stop it? I mean, they're just going to find out eventually right?" Schlatt said, breaking the ice. Heh, nICE. I'm sorry I'll stop now.</p><p>They were in a discord call in their own private server, playing Minecraft and whatnot. "I mean, yeah..." Tommy trailed off, as he dug to his right. He immediately found some diamonds.<br/>
"Diamonds where I am Dream, I'll send you the coordinates."<br/>
"Thanks."</p><p>It was usually like this when they hung out with each other, no one interrupting them. Some people may think that they were uncomfortable or felt awkward around one another since they didn't act like their loud and obnoxious selves, but that wasn't the case.<br/>
That was how they showed they were comfortable within the group.</p><p>"These are a lot, Tommy! You're really good at this!"</p><p>"That's what you say all the time."</p><p>"And we're never going to stop."</p><p>Tommy smiled from behind the screen. It was nice to know that two people he looked up to actually cared for him. I mean, he knows that his other friends do too, but never off stream. Even if they were playing with no chat to bother them, they never really confirmed anything.</p><p>But this? This was more real and convincing to him.</p><p> "Thanks, big man. But um, I guess we could just roll with it." It was more of a statement than a question, but Dream and Schlatt nodded nonetheless. "Yeah, I think that's a good solution. Hey democratic republican, you done with whatever you're doing?" Dream asked.</p><p>"I think it's going great!" He exclaimed.
"Send me the coordinates, and tp us to you."<br/>
"Me too."</p><p>Schlatt owned the server they were in, but deemed it to be owned by him, Tommy and Dream. He didn't make them admins just like himself though, but in a way it wouldn't really make sense if he did since it was only the three of them in the server anyways. But that didn't matter right now. "How do you guys like my Wilbitch statue?" Schlatt said, the two others dismissing the nickname. "This is great! Maybe we could put a guitar on the back, make it have some more sad e-boy vibes...what do you think?" The three agreed on the guitar.<br/>
"Who's next?" Dream spoke up. "Uhhh... I think it's Karl? We agreed on taking turns right?"</p><p>"Okay, Karl statue next. Tomathy could take care of that." Tommy snorted. "What is up with the stupid nicknames?" Dream sputtered nonsense, while Schlatt just laughed. "Says the child who calls himself TommyInnit."<br/>
It was Tommy's turn to spew out gibberish. "I- guh- WE, WE LITERALLY CALL OURSELVES <strong>THE VAULTERS</strong> BITCH, IN MY OPINION THAT SOUNDS MORE STUPID. IT'S SHIT." Dream wheezed.</p><p>"Yeah sure- wait a minute." They could hear him stand up from his seat, as he seemed to be trying to find something. Then a sound of a gun reloading was heard. "Say that again to me and I will barge into your fucking room and shoot you dead right between the eyes." Surprisingly no one tensed.  This just made Tommy shout louder and Dream to cover his face with his hands, still wheezing as he tried to catch his breath.</p><p>"I MADE THE NAME YOU LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT-"</p><p>"WELL, IT'S STUPID. AND DUMB. WHO CALLS THEMSELVES THE VAULTERS, WHAT ARE WE A BANK-"</p><p>"TOO BAD, WE ALREADY AGREED ON IT YOU FUCKING CHILD. YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT LESBIAN MEANS."</p><p>"SHUT UP SCHLATT, THAT ISN'T EVEN RELATED. Also, I already know what that means so SUCK IT BITCH BOY-"</p><p>Dream wheezes for one last time, before the call goes silent. A few minutes in, and suddenly Schlatt's character starts to move towards the back of the Wilbur statue he made. He destroyed two blocks so that he could enter, revealing the statue to be hollow. Tommy goes back to where he was previously mining, while Dream ender pearls out of the open area. They could practically hear each other's smiles.<br/>
All was quiet and peaceful.</p><p>It was a good thing they didn't add anyone else, am I right?</p><p>---------------------------------------</p><p>
  <strong>@dream</strong><br/>
yooo tommy please give me back my shoes i need to go run around hahaha<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
If by running around is jumping on people's rooftops then no.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
We're in twitter you fucking morons<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@dream</strong><br/>
Oh no<br/>
Guess we'll have to expose you too :)<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
on it big D<br/>
Screenshot:<br/>
</p>
<h2>This is one of your very first conversations with CallMeCarson!</h2><p><strong>tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Hey Big C<br/>
Join our minecraft server you left your goat there<br/>
___________________________________<br/>
12:27 PM · Dec 1, 2020·Twitter Web App<br/>
3.2K Retweets    357 Quote Tweets    143.6K Likes<br/>
-----------------------------<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
never trust a child.<br/>
__________________________<br/>
12:38 PM · Dec 1, 2020 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
1.2K Retweets     26 Quote Tweets      83.4K Likes</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yoooo any gun fanatics where I'm at???<br/>Please???<br/>Also, we need more Jschlatt angst please contribute. And let's make lunch club a common tag please. 1261 words LET'S GOOOO POGCHAMP</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Schlatt Only Ate A Banana for Dinner Today</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"I suck at this."</p><p>"Suck dick? OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH-"</p><p>"You're mean."</p><p> </p><p>  <em>Dream joined the game</em><br/><em>TommyInnit joined the game</em></p><p> </p><p>"..."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"...well, they're meaner."</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Edit: 2686 words very poggers</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You know, you never did tell me what your talent was going to be." Tubbo said as they were sat on the bench of the SMP. Tommy tensed. Oh, right. He forgot about that. "It's nothing Tubbo! Besides, I'm going to show it sooner or later, right?" He said to cover up his nervousness.<br/>
"Mhm." And that was that.</p><p>Tommy ended his stream right before Tubbo's did, and he released a shaky breath. He quickly turned off his computer and went to check on his phone. His eyes widened. 12 unread messages from Wilbur Soot, the man himself.</p><p><strong>favorite son#2</strong><br/>
Tommy<br/>
tommy come on man<br/>
what are you going to "show" as your talent?<br/>
it better not be killing women tommy<br/>
in all seriousness though<br/>
come on <strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
you better showcase your talent sometime<br/>
im going to invite some youtubers where im at, maybe ill stream?<br/>
you could do it during that stream<br/>
you dont have to if you dont want to<br/>
but we'll support you nomatter what<br/>
on saturday, you coming?<br/>
</p><p>Tommy sighed as he typed on his phone and immediately pressed send without thinking.</p><p><strong>man-child</strong><br/>
will do big man<br/>
</p><p>He quickly closed his phone and carelessly threw it onto his bed. He sighed as he covered his eyes with his hands. "Shit." Suddenly, he heard someone knocking on his door. "Coast is clear!" Tommy shouted loud enough for the person behind his door to hear. He could hear the creak of his door opening then closing. He didn't bother looking up to see who it was.</p><p>"Dinner's ready."</p><p>---------------------</p><p>"So... why didn't he call me for dinner instead?"</p><p>"He's busy. Tommy. Sorry."</p><p>"Still doesn't make sense-"</p><p>"He's playing in the Minecraft server."</p><p>"Why though?"</p><p>"Did you check Twitch?"</p><p>"No?"</p><p>"Look at this."</p>
<h4>CallMeCarson is streaming!</h4><h4></h4><p>"..."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"...can we-"</p><p>"Let's finish eating dinner first. Besides, he already ate dinner so I guess he's fine-"</p><p>"He only ate a banana didn't he?"</p><p>"..."</p><p>"Oh my god-"</p><p>---------------------</p><p>
  <em>CallMeCarson joined the game!</em>
</p><p>"Okay chat, we're gonna find out what the child sent us. So, we're going to- wait what the." Carson moved the head of his avatar a few times, realizing that it was pitch black. "Is this a prank?" He moved forward, desperate to see any form of light. "We move forward chat?" A few words of 'yes' and 'poggers' were thrown at him. He sighed. "I don't know guys...this feels like a trap. A ploy to get CLOUT." He laughed at his won joke, hoping to ease the nervousness inside of him. "Oh, is that..?" A torch could be seen by his right. "I guess we follow the torches, huh?" Right next to the torch was a sign.</p><p>"Welcome to the Underground Cave System. Follow the torches and you shall see land..." Carson read. "...a bit dramatic don't you think, chat?" He chuckled to himself. After following 7 more torches, he eventually found another sign. "Do you like parkour? No? LMAOOO SUCKS TO BE YOUUU- okay this is just trolling me guys." The only way up was through parkour: climb a ladder and jump to the other one from the other side.  "I bet Dream made this one, the absolute parkour god."</p><p>After a few minutes of crying and shouting at chat, he eventually made it to the top. "I DID IT!" He exclaimed. It was the usual minecraft world, nothing out of the ordinary...besides the fact that there were huge-ass statues of Wilbur Soot, GeorgeNotFound, TimeDeo, Traves, and Carson himself.</p><p>"What the fuck-" A figure appeared from on top of the Wilbur Soot statue. It was Schlatt. "We found our goat guys!" Carson chuckled. Schlatt's avatar stayed still for awhile, before suddenly jumping down and hitting Carson three times. "H-hey Schlatt, buddy, amigo, pal don't do that!" Carson stuttered out. After a few more hits, he was on half a heart. Carson wondered why he still didn't run away.</p><p>jschlatt: why the fuck are you here???</p><p>Schlatt raised a crossbow, aiming at Carson's character. Carson chuckled once more, a bit nervous. He typed into the comms, sending a small 'hi.'</p><p>jschlatt: didn't answer my question<br/>
CallMeCarson: can we talk in discord???<br/>
jschlatt: bitch</p><p>Begrudgingly, on the other side of the screen, Schlatt sent a discord invite to Carson. He groaned once he saw that Carson joined.</p><p><strong>funny goat man</strong><br/>
you're only here temporarily. ill kick you out after, the invite wont work anymore</p><p><strong>CallMeCarson</strong><br/>
Funny goat man??? seriously???</p><p><strong>funny goat man</strong><br/>
leave me alone</p><p>Carson's chat was amused by the fact that Carson still didn't cover up the discord dms, as they sent a few 'lmao's and 'poggers' his way. Once he saw Schlatt enter a vc, he joined too. "Hey man-" "What the fuck Carson." Schlatt interrupted him mid-sentence. "I thought that Tomathy was just joking around about the minecraft invite." Carson snorted at the nickname. "Tomathy?" Schlatt could be heard sighing form the other end. "Never mind, Carson. So I'm guessing you're going to cause shit on the server, hm?" Carson grinned. "Actually, I'm just going to stroll around, you know? Take a good look at my surroundings." Carson could practically hear the eyeroll from Schlatt miles away.</p><p>"Mhm, as the only one online," Schlatt's avatar started moving again as he led Carson to a pathway, either side having a building or complicated contraption. "I welcome you to the Vaulters SMP."<br/>
Carson's mind sputtered out. "Vaulters? Seriously?" Schlatt rolled his eyes. "I was pressured when I was making the name okay?"  Then, he settled into a smirk. "Let's head over to the training grounds, shall we?"</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>It was a mistake. A huge mistake in Carson's part to have let Schlatt lead him through this unusual survival minecraft world. "<strong>COME ON CARSON, THE CHAT WANTS SOME INCREDIBLE TRICKS AND STUNTS.</strong>" Schlatt was using his funny mic as always, Carson's avatar on 2 hearts whilst being chased by a herd of baby zombies. "HOLY!" Carson didn't bother to say the other word because he knew he was going to die. Schlatt cackled menacingly, having no sympathy for Carson as he watched his stream.<br/>
The said man was currently crying (Maybe not, Schlatt couldn't tell.) and pouring water all over himself using a plastic water bottle that he probably got from Walmart.</p><p>Once Carson finally calmed down, he whispered solemnly into his mic.</p><p>"I suck at this."</p><p>"<strong>Suck dick? OOOOOOHHHHHHHHH-</strong>"</p><p>"You're mean."</p><p>Schlatt laughed once more. "<strong>No need to lie Carson! We all know you like dick and balls-</strong>" He cut himself off once he saw that two more people joined him and Carson in the call, along in-game.</p><p><em>Dream joined the game</em><br/>
<em>TommyInnit joined the game</em>
</p><p>"..."</p><p>"..."</p><p>"...<strong>well, they're meaner.</strong>" Schlatt said. After that, all hell broke loose. "AYYYYYYYYY BIG C, BIG S, HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING THIS FINE AFTERNOON?" Dream sighed at Tommy's usual antics. "It's night time, Tommy." Tommy chuckled behind screen, although he also nudged Dream's shoulder harshly. He was right next to Tommy, although there was a noticeable space between them so Tommy's mic wouldn't pick up Dream's voice,  playing on his laptop instead of his desktop computer.</p><p>'What?" The florida man whispered to Tommy, feigning hurt by placing a hand above his chest. 'They don't know that you're here.' Dream's eyes widened before laughing along Tommy as to not raise suspicion.</p><p>"Well, at your place of course. I think it's...what? 5:07 where I'm at right now? Doesn't that mean that you're way past your bedtime, Tommy?" It was Tommy's turn to feign hurt as he looked at Dream, gasping loudly for effect. "Fuck you, Dream. Big men don't need bedtime curfews, you stupid arsehole!"<br/>
"<strong>Especially when they're 10 big hot men!</strong>" Schlatt laughed along with Carson.</p><p>"I just came along to see what's going on. Also, I know I sound like shit. I'm using my laptop instead of my computer right now." Tommy chuckled.<br/>
"You always sound like shit Big D."<br/>
"You know what? Fuck you, Tommy. I'm extending your exile."<br/>
"Wait- WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT, COME ON BIG D WE CAN TALK ABOUT THIS RIGHT!?"</p><p>Dream didn't say anything, except he hit Tommy's character a few times, unbeknownst to the other two in the call. "WAIT WAIT STOP HITTING ME, DRE- DREAM, DREAM." The group burst into laughter once more.</p><p>It wasn't long before Dream and Tommy found their place into the conversation. Dream butted in a few times, with Tommy being the one with the comedic relief that everyone needed if it got too awkward. It also wasn't long before Schlatt noticed that Carson was streaming for 3 hours, which surprised him.</p><p>Usually the man would be sleeping by now, but Schlatt felt happy to see that Carson was willing to spend time with him, Tommy and Dream. But he also saw the light eyebags underneath his friend's face, and he decided then and there to call it a night, asking Carson to end the stream since he "Noticed how sleepy you looking there, buddy."</p><p>Carson hesitantly agreed, wanting to play with the odd, but accepted trio for a bit more. "Okay then, chat, thank you all for watching today's stream! Since Schlatt is here, might as well advertise for him! Go on over to youtooz.com to buy some angry ram plushies while you're at it, okay?"</p><p>"Thanks Carson, bye Carson's stream!"</p><p>"Bye!"</p><p>"Good night."</p><p>Schlatt faced Carson's avatar once more. "Also, Carson?"</p><p>"Hm?"</p><p>"Fuck you."</p><p>
  <em>You have been banned from this server</em>
</p><p>"....sHIT-"</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>After making sure he also kicked out Carson from the discord server and deemed the invite unusable, he laughed genuinely for the first time past these few weeks. He heard his door creak open, multiple footsteps coming from behind as four arms engulfed him in a warm hug. He heard a subtle yawn, as he also yawned in response. "Sleepover in the living room?" Schlatt pretended to contemplate a bit, rubbing his chin as he was "deep in thought." The voice's owner got triggered by that as they suddenly slapped away Schlatt's hand from his face. Schlatt chuckled lightly as he grinned, a bit tired.</p><p>"Sleepover in the living room."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. The Alen 55 Is to Be Treated With Respect</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Did you just refer to the Alen 55 as an IT?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Make Lunch Club an official fandom tag you fucking cowards.<br/>Also I researched ALOT in this, and made them live in Hampshire. The internet told me Stampy lives there too so I thought HM WHY NOT PUT HIM IN TOO??? </p><p>I am very serious about my research. Except let's pretend that we can actually travel from there okay. Covid can bend to my will, so they can do anything. Feel free to give me any critique about uk tho. I live in Asia lmao.</p><p>Also, Boatshed Brighton Yacht Brokers is actually real and so is the Alen 55.</p><p>Edit: 2674 words woooo</p><p>Edit Edit: Will put fanart that someone mad for me once I get ahold fo my phone. Im on my fucking computer</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Get in the fucking car Tommy." The said teen stayed in the living room, burying his face with his large backpack. He was on the couch, sulking. "No." Schlatt sighed. He wondered how he got the title of "Big Brother" ("Actually, it's big sister-" "Shut up Clay.") when it was obvious that Dream was more experienced in that department. Being an only child had its perks, and its sad parts.</p><p>(He vividly remembers the time he escapes the crowded house, vowing to never return again. It was the best day of his life, no more being held by puppet strings. Sure they were a nice couple, never hit him and treated him as part of the family, loving him whole... but they were too invasive. They already set his path even before he was born. There was too much going on that house. But they were fine now, they're on speaking terms, and they're fine. That's all that matters. In fact, they're happy that he has a family of his own.)</p><p>"I don't wanna." Schlatt rolled his eyes at his theatrical brother. "You need to stop hanging out with Wilbur, you're becoming a bitch. Like him." Tommy snorted at that, but it was muffled by his bag. "You already agreed to coming, Tommy. It was read and all, they're expecting you to come." "Then I'll text him again and say I won't come!" It was silent after that, Tommy wondered why-</p><p>"WHAT THE FUCK-" He was being dragged off the couch and into the dreaded outside world, someone was grabbing his leg oh my god this is considered kidnapping right? "STRANGER DANGER-" Tommy shouted once he noticed that he was actually outside. "Shut up Tommy we only have like what, 3 neighbors? And they know us well so come on-" As if on cue, the door of the house by the other street opened and out came a man that they were very familiar with.</p><p>"Hi Garrett."</p><p>"BIG S HELP ME PLEASE-"</p><p>"Hi Joseph!"</p><p>The man did nothing except wave and smile (although not seen) at the interesting family in front of him. "Where are you guys going?" Dream finally succeeded in dragging Tommy into the car, and he quickly closed the door and leaned on it. "Brighton. Tommy here is meeting up with Wilbur." Joseph grinned. "Brighton? It takes one hour and 39 minutes to get there from what I've heard. Fastest way to go I guess?" Schlatt smiled brightly at the guy. "Will do, thanks for the tip Stampycat." He turned to Dream. "Did you secure the child?"</p><p>Their neighbor laughed at that, as he started walking down the street. They were an interesting trio, and an interesting family. Stampy smiled to himself. But they were endearing. Although unpredictable. He was glad he was in somehow close contact to them, after all; someone needed to fulfill the role of the cool uncle right? (He's actually the funny uncle. But don't tell him that.)</p><p>Once Schlatt and Dream were in the car, Tommy crossed his arms and pouted. "Come on kid, I'll play your Spotify playlist for the whole ride." The teen perked up at that and grinned, while Dream groaned. "No buts, Clay. It's the only way to go." "FINNNNNEEEEEEE-"</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>"JUMP IN THE CADILLAC-"</p><p>Dream was covering his ears, excited to get out of the car. If he was right, they were about to enter Brighton. And he was right. Actually, he was ALWAYS right. He grinned to himself. "Hey guys, we're here-" "ANYTHING YOU WANT-" Clay rolled his eyes, knowing that they were both looking at him in expectation. "...just to put a smile on it."<br/>
"YOU DESERVE IT BABY, YOU DESERVE IT ALLLLLLLLLLL. AND I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU-" But he has to say, Tommy really hit that high note perfectly. "Ah, sweet sweet Brighton." Dream muttered to himself, ignoring the other two people with him. He looked out the car window and smiled. "We're going to meet at the beach right?"</p><p>Schlatt nodded as he left Tommy to sing his own song. "Yeah, Brighton Beach. Thankfully, it's not closed because of the pandemic." Dream let out a small 'oh' in understanding. He looked out the window once more. "So everyone knows the plan?" Tommy finally stopped singing, looking up to face his two "brothers." "There's a plan?" He asked, confused. Dream snickered while Schlatt just groaned. "I explained it to you last night!" Tommy rolled his eyes. "Sorry bitch, pretty sure I was sleeping at night. Like what every normal human being would."</p><p>Dream full on wheezed at that, as Schlatt gaped at Tommy. The 'o' shape of his mouth was soon replaced with a smirk, as he set his eyes on the road. "Use that sass against someone your age, and I'll consider you a normal human being." Tommy sighed, knowing this was a battle he couldn't win. He vaguely remembers highschool where Schlatt came to pick him up and had a sass battle with his english teacher. He also knew that the words "or Wilbur" were left unsaid by the man, but he didn't question it. He pouted. Good for Wilbur, he was shown mercy. Even if he wasn't here.<br/>
"Okay mum."<br/>
"I'm not your mom."</p><p>They parked a few miles away from the beach itself, as Schlatt got out of the car with Dream and Tommy in tow. "The plan was for Clay to assist you to the meeting place." Tommy's eyes widened, although he made no move to argue. "Clay, british accent, go." "You wanker!" Tommy snorted, but he knew that Dream was just joking around. He was good at accents after all. "If anyone asks, his name is Roya (Tommy had to stop himself from praising Schlatt's choice of a name. He knew what Roya meant. The little bookworm fuck-). He's one of your mom's friend's children who you're very close to. You grew up with him babysitting you-"</p><p>"Wait, wait. Babysitting? I AM NO BABY." Schlatt groaned as he rolled his eyes. "You grew up with him LOOKING AFTER YOU, better?" Tommy nodded, content. Schlatt continued. "You guys are basically backyard neighbors, and he is 19 years old. Honestly, it would be weird if you told them he was 21 so remember that." At that Schlatt sighed and closed the car door behind him. "I'll probably be at the nearest gun range that they can have here. Make sure Tommy doesn't kill himself and vice versa, okay?"<br/>
The two blondes nodded and Schlatt smiled. He ruffled both of their hair, ignoring their small complaints. "Stay safe." The two smiled, as they turned away and headed to the beach. Once they were out of sight, Schlatt groaned. "This was a mistake."</p><p>"This was a mistake." Tommy muttered to Dream- "Roya" once they neared the beach. "Oh come on, Tomathy. We already agreed to this. And besides, we ARE already here." Tommy scoffed. "Which is a mistake." Roya sighed, exasperated as he settled his eyes on the shoreline.<br/>
"Just...relax for a bit Tommy. It's been a while, you know?" Tommy sighed as he rubbed his arm. "I'll try." Clay grinned. "Hey, Boatshed Brighton Yacht Brokers are open 24/7. We could get a yacht if you want to try?" Tommy quickly nodded, as Dream laughed at his enthusiasm.</p><p>"Oh right, and Tommy?"</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"We're an hour early."</p><p>"...fUCK-"</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>Wilbur was on his way to the beach, holding a camera for him to record the whole experience. After they were all in the beach, they would hang out for a while and then head over to Wilbur's apartment. And his apartment was big to say the least. "Wilbur?" He turned around to see Niki, looking up at him due to her height. "Niki! How are you?" He greeted as he opened his arms for a hug, which Niki gladly accepted. "I've been doing great Wil! What about you?" Wilbur chuckled.</p><p>"Doing great honestly. I've never felt this calm, and- and peaceful ever since I joined Dream SMP." Niki chuckled as they began walking to their destination. "Don't worry Wil. There are other people who will be glad to help you out for anything you need. Well..." Wilbur snorted. "Besides Tommy?" Niki's face flushed as she sputtered out excuses that she didn't mean it that way, as Wilbur laughed. "I get it, Niki. Tommy can be an annoying lil' shit and all. It's okay to doubt if he ever wants to help me in the first place." Niki solemnly smiled. "Tommy's a great kid, Wil. He'll always help you no matter what, you're basically his idol."</p><p>The musician smirked. "Damn right I am." The duo conversed for a bit more, eventually stopping by a bakery just in case any of their friends wanted to eat something along the way. "Fundy?" The man in question gave Wilbur and Niki an uneasy smile, still in his uniform. "I was going to go the beach after my shift, but I guess I can go with you guys if my boss allows it." Thankfully, his boss was nice, and soon the duo became three. "Why were you even working in a bakery?" Fundy sheepishly smiled. "My friend called in sick, but he needed the money still. He asked me if I could cover for him, and thankfully he was placed in front of the counter."</p><p>It wasn't long before they got to the beach, spotting Phil and Kristen who were watching over Tubbo. Surprisingly, Tommy wasn't to be seen (and Tubbo didn't bring anyone of his family members with him). "It took an hour, maybe 30 minutes until I got here- oh hi Wilbur!" Tubbo stopped his rant to the couple once he saw the trio by the dock. "Phil, Kristen! Lovely to see you." Phil snorted while Kristen just laughed at the polite greeting. "Great to see you guys too." Wilbur grinned. "See this camera? You guys better not be sappy and shit because I don't think the viewers would want that." The group laughed.</p><p>"Where's Tommy?" Tubbo asked to no one in particular, as he wanted to hang out with his best friend. "I don't think he's here yet." Phil replied. Wilbur clasped his hands together. "Well, at least we'll have our peace and quiet before he gets here, am I right?" Tubbo chuckled. "Yeah...I guess so."</p><p>The teen diverted his attention to the water that was gently soaking his feet. He looked up and saw the sun, still up in the sky. It immediately got covered by a sail, at which Tubbo let out a small whine. He noticed a few boats around the area. Small boat, medium boat, large boat...and a VERY VERY LARGE BOAT. He took out his phone, snapped a picture and went over to discord to send it to Tommy.</p><p>Suddenly, someone got out of the boat- yacht, Tubbo's mind supplied. Blonde short hair, and a grey cardigan with a white shirt underneath. Tubbo's eyes were now squinted, trying to get the face of the stranger. Said stranger stuck their hand into their pocket and got out their phone. He seemed to look at it for a second before he suddenly went stiff and began looking around.</p><p>They leaned forward, and Tubbo realized he was looking at- "Oh my god he's looking straight at me." Tubbo said, gaining the attention of his friends. "Who is?" Wilbur said with a sharp tone. God forbid if anyone tried to hurt any of his friends, especially Tubbo of all people.</p><p>The stranger went back inside, as Tubbo sighed in relief- and oop the yacht's nearing the shore they're coming here. As the yacht came to a stop right next to the dock, where they were coincidentally sitting next to. Tubbo was frozen in place, as two people walked down and... is that Tommy? "Tommy?" The teen in question just walked over to them with his terrible posture (as always), the man behind him in tow. "What's up, Big T?" Tommy asked Tubbo once he was right in front of him.</p><p>The others meanwhile were gaping at the huge yacht that Tommy came from. "Where-where did you even get a fucking yacht, Tommy? Did you rent it?" Wilbur finally stuttered out. Tommy raised a brow as the new stranger laughed. "I didn't rent it. I BOUGHT it." Silence. "...wHAT THE FUCK TOMMY?" The stranger was full on wheezing now, and Tubbo couldn't help but notice how familiar they were, but he couldn't put his finger to it. A relative of Tommy's maybe?</p><p>"How much?" Tommy stared at Wilbur with a deadpan look. "What?" "How much?" Clay stepped in much to Tommy's delight. "898,000 euros." "THAT MUCH MONEY TO BUY A FUCKING YACHT!?" Wilbur shouted at Clay. The green-eyed male just shrugged and looked at Tommy with a knowing look. Tommy looked back at him too, as if they were having a mental conversation.</p><p>"I don't know man, look at Tomathy instead." "Tomathy" sent a hateful glare to his brother, as Wilbur faced Tommy. "Do your parents know of this?" 'Not really since I don't even live with them anymore.' Tommy thought with a sarcastic tone. Instead, he said, "Don't worry, Wil. I wouldn't spend that much money without permission. Besides..." He faced Clay. "He bought it with HIS OWN MONEY."</p><p>The "stranger" gasped. "Tommy you fuckin' wanker. I treat you with kindness and respect and you do this to me?" Clay said in a convincing british accent. "You're a bitch." "And you're a piece of shit." This time Dream backed down, his two hands in the air. "Okay, okay, that's kind of true."</p><p>They briefly forgot about the others with them, leaving them in an awkward silence. Thankfully, Niki stepped in. "Tommy! It's so nice to meet you again. Who's your friend?" God bless Niki. "He's my-." "Cousin." Tommy stared at Dream with squinted eyes, who in turn gave him a playful look. Tommy quickly understood and nodded at Dream's statement. "Nice to meet you, Tommy's 'Very Cool YouTube friends.'" Tommy roughly nudged him in the stomach, but the stranger didn't even flinch. "Roya. Roya Simons." Phil stepped in, along with Kristen to keep the conversation going.</p><p>"Nice to meet you, Roya. I guess you already know some of us?" Roya nodded. "Well just in case, my name's Phil, and this is my wife Kristen." The woman waved, while Roya waved back. "The guy with horrible fashion sense is Fundy, my grandchild." They ignored the rather loud "HEY!" that the furry man shouted. "The girl awhile ago was Niki." Niki smiled sweetly. "Then there's my son Wilbur. And then there's Tubbo!" Roya greeted them all with a happy smile.</p><p>What they didn't know was that "Roya" was laughing internally into the pitch black darkness of his mind. 'This is going to be awesome." Dream thought, a scheming smirk on his face, but it was soon gone in a flash once he was "introduced" to every one of his friends.</p><p>"Anyways...since we're all here, should we get going to my apartment? Um, what about your yacht Tommy? It won't really fit in my room, you know?" Wilbur joked around, the others chuckling. But Tommy didn't, while Roya backed away once more. "Did you just refer to the Alen55 an IT? What the fuck Wilbur! You always refer to a boat or yacht with she/her pronouns!" Tommy exclaimed. Roya laughed. "Don't worry Tommy, they probably didn't know you had such high standards for a boat."</p><p>Tommy grumbled. "And sooner or later it's going to have higher standards than you, you prick." "Ouch." Fundy said, causing the others to laugh with him and Roya. Tommy stayed in his place, until Roya grabbed his arm. The others were now walking away, Roya dragging Tommy with him. "...the yacht will be okay, right?" Roya laughed, as looked at Tommy. "Yeah, the boat's going to be fine, Tomathy." He whispered, ditching the accent.<br/>
Tommy replied with a chuckle, as they followed their unsuspecting friends to Wilbur's apartment."</p><p>Author: Asterimz i fuckin love you</p><p>
  
  
</p><p>Does it look clear? Idk, but yooooooooooo- thank you so muchhhh. I will cherish this FOREVER.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Tommy's Flexy Days</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which an American almost falls from his seat in a bakery in the UK.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They were all situated into a white van that Wilbur happened to borrow from one of his friends. “You sure that this is a meet-up and not a kidnapping, Tomathy?” Dream- Roya whispered to the teen. Wilbur was driving, with Niki at the front. Tubbo, Phil, and Kristen were at the middle while Fundy, Tommy and Roya were at the back. Thankfully, the furry man was listening to some music, causing him to not hear their conversation. Tommy chuckled lightly before whispering back, “If it was a kidnapping then those boxing lessons from Big Z would be a convenience, innit?”</p><p>Roya nodded, amused. “Yeah, you’re right. Say, what do you think Schlatt’s doing right now?” Tommy tilted his head in thought, and replied, “Probably at a gun range like he said.” Roya shook his head. “Nah. He’s probably hiding from the cops.” They both laughed, unaware of the multiple set of eyes that were on them.</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;<br/>
“Roya’s nice, don’t you think?” Niki started once they were in the van. She turned to Wilbur who was gripping the steering wheel. Quite tightly. His knuckles turned white as he just stared at the rearview mirror. It was supposed to be a fun day with his family friends, and suddenly this Roya guy, supposedly Tommy’s cousin, comes join them? Tommy never mentioned a Roya once in his life, did he just come back from somewhere? To the point that Tommy barely acknowledged him, Wilbur Soot? What, is Roya his new brother idol now?</p><p>“Wil.” Niki’s stern and commanding voice brought Wilbur out of his thoughts. “What?” Niki chuckled. “Are you jealous of Roya?” Wilbur blushed, embarrassed. “No! What makes you think that?!” Niki just shook her head and replied, “Keep your eyes on the road, Wil. Don’t worry. You’re still Tommy’s big brother.” Wilbur scoffed. “The child is not my brother.” The girl simply sighed. “Your fanbase suggests otherwise.” Wilbur groans, remembering the multiple compilations of him and Tommy acting like brothers on YouTube.</p><p>Was it possible to sue so many people at the same time?</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;<br/>
“Tommy no.” The group finally reached Wilbur’s apartment, and they were all being led out once the van was parked. “If you won’t buy me gummy worms I’ll break your phone.” Tommy stated oh so seriously. Roya stood still and looked at Tommy with a deadpan stare. “You have my phone, the most important thing that I have…” Roya trailed off as he took a deep breath. “And you want gummy worms???” he asked, confused. Tommy nodded. The others meanwhile were simply enjoying their little argument. “What the FUCK are they fighting about?” Wilbur spat out, exasperated. Phil shook his head while Kristen smiled. “They’re just acting like kids, mate. You should know since you’re Tommy’s brother.” Phil stated, laughing lightly once he saw Roya tackling Tommy. </p><p>Wilbur sighed. Ah, there it is again. The infamous word: <strong>brother</strong>. “Not my brother, Phil…” He trailed off, covering his face with his two hands. Kristen laughed, as Phil placed a hand on the musician’s shoulder. “Whatever you say man. Whatever you say.” Wilbur muttered a ‘bloody hell’ before letting the others into the apartment. “Roya, Tommy!” Wilbur shouted to gain their attention. They were both on the ground, Tommy on top of the taller man who quickly sat up. He lends a hand to Tommy, who gladly accepted and pulled himself up. They walked towards the entrance as if they didn’t just fight each other over a phone. Wilbur sighed. This was going to be an eventful day.</p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>“What is up, stream!” Wilbur exclaimed once he finally adjusted the camera. The chat went wild, seeing the numerous YouTubers behind his back. It was a definite meet-up. Wilbur chuckled at their excited responses. “Yes chat, we are being joined by some of my friends! And Tommy.” Everyone turned to Tommy, expecting a loud outburst. Even the chat was waiting for Tommy’s response. Except, all they saw was Tommy laughing at something off-screen. He was carrying a large bag, handing it over to someone by the side. Well, to the stream’s eyes of course.</p><p>Roya had an offended look on his face as he stared at Tommy grimly. It seemed that they were having a conversation before, and by the looks of it, a conversation that ended badly for Tommy’s cousin. He sighed before getting out a large bag. Zipping it open, he pulled out- a fucking hoverboard what the hell. </p><p>
  <em>FuckCramorant: who tf is he talking to I need answers</em><br/>
<em>EveryFandomHybrid: AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH</em><br/>
<em>SailorCosmos1234: Is there another person there???</em><br/>
<em>stuz: poggers??? surprise youtuber???</em><br/>
<em>xaq: omg I can’t wait to see Tommy and his off-screen friend named-</em><br/>
<em>InfinityWarsDestroyedMe: God, I’m late. YOO WHAT’S HAPPENING</em><br/>
<em>asterimz: what if I just *screenshots*</em>
</p><p>“Well, stream!” Wilbur ignored their rapid questions. “We’re going to do a little Q and A if you will!” </p><p>
  <em>QuincyCried: POG POG POG POGGERSSS</em><br/>
<em>Mysterious_owo_: JBCBWSHCBWSBCB</em><br/>
<em>FuckCramorant: who is tommy talking to I need answers please-</em><br/>
<em>asterimz: poggers :)))</em><br/>
<em>tixxa: They met up I- 🧍</em>
</p><p>“Who is Tommy talking to?” Wilbur repeated those five words with a small hint of annoyance, although no one noticed. Roya suddenly rolled into the camera’s line of sight, and everyone in the room realized that he was wearing his gray hoodie backwards, the hood covering his face from the camera. He was on the white hoverboard, stopping right next to Wilbur. Due to the item underneath him, it made him look taller than the musician. But that wasn’t the most intimidating thing about him. He was doing a t-pose that would scar Wilbur Soot’s mind for the rest of his life.<br/>
Roya was holding something from behind his back: a piece of folded paper. He unfolded it and showed it to stream. “Tommy’s Cousin” was written on it.</p><p>
  <em>QuincyCried: IS TOMMY’S COUSIN FKIN T-POSING WHY IS HE SO INTIMIDATING I-</em>
</p><p>Tommy cackled at the sudden fast pace of the chat, Wilbur groaning into his two hands. “That’s right chat, that was my cousin!” Tommy went closer to the camera, standing next to Roya. Wilbur sighed before gesturing to chat. “Well at least I stole your clout.” Tommy gasped loudly as the others laughed at the teen’s face of realization. “Pleasure doing business with you Mr. Soot.” Roya’s voice is muffled by the thick fabric of his hoodie, as he returns to his spot off-screen, leaving Tommy behind. </p><p>A donation came through, Tommy reading it out loud before Wilbur could. “So Tommy isn’t 6’3- you know what fuck you FuckCramorant. Fuck you.” Tommy said as he showed his middle finger to the camera. “Hey, uh- can you say hi to Blue?” Roya asked. Tommy nodded, knowing that Blue was Schlatt. “Also, hi Blue. Are you in a gun range like you said?” The group laughs, but Fundy stares at Tommy with a concerned expression. It was sure to be clipped for twitter. </p><p>“WHAT?” Fundy exclaims in a confused yet worried expression. Tommy laughs even louder. “It- it isn’t true don’t worry…I think.” Fundy stares at Roya with the same look. The man tries his best not to laugh or wheeze as he would as Dream. His voice wouldn’t be that recognizable in public, which he was thankful for, but his “tea kettle wheeze” would be. He ends up laughing awkwardly, but no one questions it. </p><p>Phil and Kristen are together on the couch, having their own little conversation as they ignore the children around them. Niki is laughing at Fundy’s face, Wilbur joining in and calling him a furry to snap him out of his stupor. Tommy sits back with Tubbo next to him this time, as they converse about Minecraft, sometimes reading out donations when the others had forgotten about the stream. Clay, not Roya, not Dream, smiles. He could worry about someone recognizing him later. For now, he just has to have fun with his oblivious friends and his little brother, Tommy. </p><p>&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;&lt;&gt;</p><p>Tommy is getting bored. And Clay can notice this. The others stopped sitting on the couch as they wanted to get closer to the camera. Now they were covering the stream’s view, the chat only being able to see Tommy by the small space between Niki and Wilbur. He stares at Tommy’s fingers, that were formed into a fist as he lightly knocked at the table in front of him. He stretches his legs, and soon raises his arms to stretch them too. He jerks his head from left to right, and he shakes his hands. Oh. </p><p>‘Oh.’ Is what Clay thinks. Tommy isn’t bored. Tommy is flexing. Flexing, as in trying to do anything that could set his tall scrawny body to its limit by trying to contract his muscles whilst being subtle. It was a “Tommy Flexy Day.” Clay knows how Tommy feels. Almost 2 hours in a car would make Tommy want to do a split and maybe 3 cartwheels while he’s at it. But they were out in public, and that would be (for Tommy) embarrassing (If Clay was in public, jumping from roof to roof, he would relish on their open mouths and wide stares. He would stare back at them with a huge grin on his face. It made him feel as if he was on top of the world).</p><p>In short, Tommy was aching to use his acrobatic skills. “Tommy.” Clay whispers to the young teen. Said teen turns to face him, and Clay could see the uncomfortable look on Tommy’s face. “Stretch your legs on the couch.” Tommy stares at him with a deadpan look on his face. Clay winces as he remembers that the stream was still going. “They’ll find out one way or another, right?” He repeats the words said when they were playing Minecraft together. Tommy sighs before looking at the camera and back at Clay.</p><p>He groans, as Clay smirks. Tommy gave in. The child raises his legs so that they were on the couch. He stretches, as his upper body rests on his thighs and his fingers reach past his toes. He stays in that position for at least 6 seconds before leaning back and sitting straight. He faces the table once more before placing his hands underneath him. Raising himself up with ease, he makes his legs do a scissor-like movement, and times like these didn’t surprise Clay from how long Tommy could hold himself up without a sweat.</p><p>Tommy spares a glance at his friends who were huddled around the camera. They still haven’t noticed him, and it seems that the stream hadn’t either. He smirks, and suddenly he’s changing positions. Plow pose. Arch pose. Bridge. Candlestick. Tommy is too caught up in his joy of <em>finally stretching oh my god-<em> that he doesn’t notice his friends staring at him with awe and wonder until he’s doing a split that is <em>so fuckin smooth how can he do that with such grace and ease!?<em></em></em></em></em></p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>Tommy stares back at them in surprise, and it’s just awkward silence until Clay- Roya stands up and cheers. Tommy forgets about the stream, instead he chuckles at their dumbstruck faces. “You okay, innit?” He asks in a smug tone, but no one speaks. A sound is heard from behind them and they all turn around to look. A dono. “TommyFlexIt or TommyFlexy?” Wilbur reads out loud, confused. Roya cackles. “THEY’RE ALREADY COMING UP WITH A TWITTER HASHTAG TOMMY!” Tommy rolls his eyes and sits down properly this time.</em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>“...that was AWESOME!” Tubbo breaks the silence as he hugs Tommy. Tommy blushes from embarrassment, as he grins. “Really, Big T?” The older boy takes a step back. “Heck yeah! How could you do a split so easily!?” Tommy laughs. “I just pog through the pain, Tubbo.” The others swarm around Tommy, asking him questions and complimenting him for his bizarre skill. Tommy grins the whole time, eager to answer their queries. He thanks them for “not freaking out or getting disgusted by his talent,” and in a blink of an eye they trap him in a hug. “Why should we be disgusted, Tommy?” Wilbur whispers to him once it’s time to go and the stream has long ended. </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>“You’re still our Tommy.” </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>By the time they reach the car, Tommy squeals and hugs Schlatt, dried tearmarks on his face. Schlatt just smiles and hugs him back, Clay joining in. They share a look and Clay nods while Schlatt grins sheepishly. Schlatt was watching the stream, and he nearly fell from his chair in a bakery he stumbled upon when Tommy greeted a certain “Blue.” They get in the car, and after a few minutes on the road Tommy is already asleep. Clay sighs. It was expected. Tommy was a growing teenager, and he needed all the energy he could get.<br/>
“You sure you don’t want to make a stop and let me drive instead?” Clay asks Schlatt, seeing the light eyebags on his face. When they arrived at the beach, it was already past noon. The stream ended at 10 pm, and they had a long way ahead of them. Schlatt shook his head. “Just go to sleep, Clay. I’ll handle the fort for now.” Clay nods, and before long he’s drifting off to sleep with Tommy leaning on his shoulder, as they headed for dreamland.</em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>Schlatt smiles as he looks at the mirror, spotting his two brothers sleeping without a care, and he snorts when he hears Tommy snore. He sighs, looking out the window. His smile stretches wider as he stares at the starry night sky. He diverts his eyes to the road, a long way ahead of him and his little family. When they reach their house, he steps out of the car and spots Joseph who was just about to enter his own house too. They look at each other and wave. Schlatt smiles. He realizes the other two are still out cold and calls out for his neighbor/friend. "Mind helping me bring them to bed?"<br/>
In the end, Jospeh carries Tommy while Schlatt carries Clay. Thankfully Tommy's room was on the first floor. Unfortunately, Clay's room was on the second floor. An inconvenience for Schlatt. He only sighs and walks up the stairs, careful to not make any noise. Once his two brothers were put to bed he sighs and thanks Stampy for the help.
The YouTuber grins and places a hand on the man's shoulder. "Anytime." Schlatt goes to sleep that night, and twitter updates their latest trends.</em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <em>
      <em>
        <strong>TRENDING<strong></strong></strong><br/>
<strong>1.#TommyFlexy</strong><br/>
<strong>2.#TommyFlexIt</strong><br/>
<strong>3.#CousinInnit</strong><br/>
<strong>4.#PoorFundy</strong><br/>
<strong>5.#SchlattUK</strong>
      </em>
    </em>
  </em>
</p><p>:)</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>1434 words. Pathetic of me, I will make next chapter longer I promise you.</p><p>Also hallo, have a great day.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. This Is Why I Hate Twitter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Twitter promptly goes to shit.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I have a new oneshot book, come check it out later lol<br/>Edit: BROOOO 3239 WORDS POGGERSSS-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
WHAT THE FUCK WHO DOXXED ME WITH <strong>#SchlattUK</strong><br/>
__________________________<br/>
1:23 AM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
4.3K Retweets 42 Quote Tweets 121.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Hello @jschlatt what do you think of our country?<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
Pretty shit to be honest<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@dream</strong><br/>
Says the guy who was spotted in the UK LMAO<br/>
(A picture of Schlatt is seen wearing his merch and his usual hat. He seems to be looking at his phone while also taking an order. There is another picture of him fumbling with his phone as he almost falls from his chair.)<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
bitch I almost died<br/>
(A short clip of Schlatt almost choking on a croissant while the people around him stare at him with concerned and worried looks. He eventually stops choking and one of the customers even shout a small cheer. The one recording asks if he’s okay, and Schlatt responds with, “Fine, I’m just watching a stream. Sorry for the inconvenience.” “It’s fine, mate.”)<br/>
__________________________<br/>
6:34 AM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.2K Retweets 68 Quote Tweets 152.4K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@WilburSoot</strong><br/>
New video coming out today :)<br/>
(A thumbnail of the new video with a man in a gray hoodie on a hoverboard t-posing, his face covered with the hood. There is a very blurry Wilbur Soot and Tommyinnit on both of his sides. There is a text on the top with the words The T-posing Menace.)<br/>
__________________________<br/>
10:45 AM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
6.4K Retweets 22 Quote Tweets 76.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@FundyLive</strong><br/>
WAIT A MINUTE <strong>@jschlatt</strong> EXPLAIN<br/>
(A picture of Fundy with a co-worker, both of them smiling in front of a counter. The next picture is once again, him fumbling with his phone. Except, someone behind him is encircled with a red marker. They are wearing an apron: the same apron that Fundy was wearing in the first picture.)<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
No comment.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@imnotabaker</strong><br/>
Fundy’s co-worker here, I was the one who posted pictures of an “American man choking on croissant” without knowing it was actually you <strong>@jschlatt</strong>.<br/>
(Another picture of Fundy’s co-worker doing a selfie, smiling. Schlatt is seen in the background on his seat, grinning at the camera. An extra picture with Schlatt and said co-worker talking to each other from behind the counter. Someone else, probably another employee, was behind the camera, their hand doing a thumbs-up. The caption “Skyno_ made a new friend :))” was in the middle)<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@Skyn0_dreAms</strong><br/>
Stop exposing me man<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
<strong>@Skyn0_dreAms</strong> pls answer my dms<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@Skyn0_dreAms</strong><br/>
IJBAUFBWUBVDUWE WTF<br/>
__________________________<br/>
1:02 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
7.2K Retweets 12 Quote Tweets 68.4K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@starrycompass</strong><br/>
I only got twitter to witness this majestic moment which is <strong>#TommyFlexy</strong> / <strong>#TommyFlexIt</strong> and his <strong>#CousinInnit</strong>. I am lucky to be alive in the same time period as them.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@starrycompass</strong><br/>
FUCK MY FRIEND TOLD ME HOW STUPID COUSININNIT IS.<br/>
LIKE BRO WE COULD JUST USE COUSINNIT IT’S RIGHT THERE OH MY GOD <strong>#Cousinnit</strong><br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@:)</strong><br/>
They got us in the first half not gonna lie.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
You scared me for a minute there american child.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@starrycompass</strong><br/>
Im filipino.<br/>
__________________________<br/>
2:26 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.3K Retweets 23 Quote Tweets 70.2K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@TubboLive</strong><br/>
Poor Fundy :((( <strong>#PoorFurry</strong><br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@TubboLive</strong><br/>
Edit: Thqt was sepposed to be poor fundy not poor furry im sorry everyume<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@FundyLive</strong><br/>
YOU.<br/>
<strong>@FundyLive</strong><br/>
WHEN DID <strong>#PoorFundy</strong> TURN INTO POOR FURRY???<br/>
__________________________<br/>
3:00 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.5K Retweets 31 Quote Tweets 76.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p> </p><p><strong>@Technothepig</strong><br/>
Bruhhh<br/>
__________________________<br/>
3:30 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
6.3K Retweets 13 Quote Tweets 61.2K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@tommyinnit</strong> replying to <strong>@Technothepig</strong><br/>
bruh indeed<br/>
__________________________<br/>
3:38 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.2K Retweets 28 Quote Tweets 84.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@dream</strong><br/>
<strong>@Technothepig</strong> you just got ratioed HARD. By a c h i l d<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@Technothepig</strong><br/>
What the hell Tommy.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Please don’t curse at me I’m a minor.<br/>
__________________________<br/>
4:26 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.6K Retweets 32 Quote Tweets 106.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@michaelreeves</strong><br/>
Hello I am up for suggestions for a new invention<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Hello michael ree, please say hi<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
Tommy you’re a literal child<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@michaelreeves</strong><br/>
Fuck you <strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
Hello <strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
pog<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
Me and <strong>@michaelreeves</strong>. Spar me.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@michaelreeves</strong><br/>
It’s actually <strong>@michaelreeves</strong> and I<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Don’t worry Big M he just misspelled “spare me”<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@LilyPichu</strong><br/>
Please don’t kill michael I still need my boyfriend<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
You would care less for the child?<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@LilyPichu</strong><br/>
He’s not mine anyways<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
???? <strong>@Ph1lzA</strong> ????<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@Ph1lzA</strong><br/>
I give up<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
Don’t worry kid, I’ll be your dad.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
suddenly I don’t hate you anymore<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@WilburSoot</strong><br/>
Tommy no<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@pokimanelol</strong><br/>
I’ll be the mom :)))<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
Blocked<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@michaelreeves</strong><br/>
This is the longest twitter thread I’ve ever seen<br/>
__________________________<br/>
7:06 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
103.6K Retweets 49 Quote Tweets 201.3K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p>
  <strong>@pokimanelol</strong>
</p><p><strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
why did you block me<br/>
__________________________<br/>
7:13 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
97.6K Retweets 34 Quote Tweets 102.4K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p>
  <strong>@jschlatt</strong>
</p><p>Lol who’s the simp now<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@Skyn0_dreAms</strong></p><p> </p><p>|<br/>
<strong>@starrycompass</strong></p><p>Lol<br/>
__________________________<br/>
7:34 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
4.2K Retweets 10 Quote Tweets 5.1K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p><strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Friendship ended with friend of vikkstar, now <strong>@michaelreeves</strong> is my new friend<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
Were you that much of a coward that you didn’t even @ me?<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@michaelreeves</strong><br/>
Oh no, it’s just that you will forever just be a friend of vikkstar to him. He also took to account the fact that you misspelled “spare me.” Honestly, it’s just a simple word and you couldn’t even get it right lmfao<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
We will get along well Michael Ree<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
Sign the contract <strong>@michaelreeves @tommyinnit</strong><br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
Hello, this is Tommy’s mother talking. What were you saying about sparring with my son?<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
That’s not going to work on me, buddy<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@KSI</strong><br/>
WTF MAN IM SORRY<br/>
(A blurry picture of an unknown number calling KSI. There is a screenshot of the said unknown number trying to reach out to KSI, starting with these messages:<br/>
Hello?<br/>
Excuse me, you are KSI right?<br/>
I’m pretty sure this is KSI<br/>
What was it again about sparring my son?<br/>
Mister KSI ignoring me isn’t very nice<br/>
You better stop threatening my son right now)<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@moretraves</strong><br/>
That’s <strong>@jschlatt</strong> ‘s number<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
Doesn’t change the fact that he’s still scared of me though<br/>
__________________________<br/>
8:01 PM · Jan 10, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
7.4K Retweets 17 Quote Tweets 8.5K Likes<br/>
__________________________</p><p>Dream laughed at the chaos that his siblings caused, although he was a bit surprised when some other well-known streamers joined in on the chaos. But then again, the more the merrier right? (If later on at night he would privately thank Michael for going along with his siblings’ shenanigans, then no one had to know.)</p><p>“Dinner’s ready!” Schlatt shouted from downstairs, and Dream forced himself to sit up and walk down the stairs. Tommy was already there due to his room being closest to the kitchen, which was unfair now that he thought about it. “Are you sulking Big D?” He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard Tommy call him by his “endearing nickname.”</p><p>He scoffed as he sat down. “Far from that, especially when I found out what you guys have been up to on twitter.” He raised his phone for emphasis, and Schlatt just sighed and chuckled awkwardly. “Yeah, that. Well, at least I got KSI to piss his pants though.” They burst out into laughter at Schlatt’s statement. He remained unphased. “What? It’s true though!” Dream was full on wheezing by now, and Tommy was almost able to rival Dream’s own wheeze.</p><p>Schlatt rolled his eyes. “Let’s just eat dinner already.” The others finally calmed down and complied. They dug in. “This is good.” Tommy said once he swallowed his food. “Yeah, is this take-out Schlatt?” The man in question covered his face in his hands, embarrassed. “I’m not good at cooking okay? I can only cook noodles in a cup!” Dream snorted. “That’s not even considered cooking lmao.”</p><p>Schlatt stared at him, amused. “Did you just say lmao out loud?” Dream’s eyes widened as he outwardly cringed. “I’m never doing that again.” Tommy leaned in. “Too late big man.” Dream let out a noise that was akin to a dying cat. “What the fuck was that?” Schlatt asked when Dream stopped sulking. “A dying cat.” Tommy supplied, and Schlatt lightly chuckled. “Can we just go back to eating?” Schlatt smirked. “You’re lucky that I don’t like food cold.”</p>
<hr/><p>Schlatt is just so tired, and he just wants to have a moment of peace for once. But of course, that ends up as the last thing that the universe sets out for him. His phone rings just as he was about to fall asleep and let slumber take him. He groans, rubbing his eyes as he reaches for his phone. “Hallo..?”</p><p>“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THE UK SCHLATT?” Schlatt winced from the loud noise, as he covered his ears. “Do you mind? I’m actually trying to sleep right now.” Wilbur laughed from the other side of the phone. “I know, since we DO live in the SAME country now.” Schlatt sighed. “What do you want Wilbur?”</p><p>Schlatt could practically hear Wilbur’s pout. “What? I can’t greet a friend?” Schlatt rolled his eyes. “No.” Wilbur sighed. “Look, we haven’t really kept in touch? In a way? And since you’re in the UK, we could always hang out? Maybe you could go to my apartment, or I go to yours?” Schlatt stayed silent.</p><p>“Schlatt? It’s okay if you don’t want to, you know. I understand if-“</p><p>“Rude of you to assume that I live in a fucking apartment like you.”</p><p>Wilbur smiled, knowing Schlatt’s answer. “You can come anytime you like! Or uh- I could go there every time you like? I don’t know-“<br/>
Schlatt cut him off once more. “Goodnight Wilbur Soot, I’ll see you next week.” The man hung up, and went under the covers, waiting for sleep to take him.</p><p>In Brighton, a british man shouts in joy, and falls from his chair. “Wilbur?” Phil said through his mic. “Are you okay? I’m watching your stream, you muted for awhile mate.” Wilbur unmuted, and just laughed. “Nothing, nothing chat.” Phil sighed and grinned. “Whatever you say then.”</p><p>“Pst…” Schlatt groaned and peeked from under the covers, immediately noticing Dream in his lime green hoodie. “What is it Clay?” The man in question sheepishly smiled. “Can I..?” Schlatt’s eyes softened, as he sighed. “Just be back before midnight please.” Dream smiled and rushed out of the door. He came back in as quickly as he left, and placed a quick peck on Schlatt’s forehead and a small “goodnight.”</p><p>After he left the room, Schlatt waited for a few minutes to see if he would come back. He didn’t. The man sighed in relief and closed his eyes. He was finally able to sleep.</p><p>“SCHLATT, MICHAEL REEVES JUST TEXTED ME AND ASKED ME IF I HAD ANY SUGGESTION FOR A USELESS INVENTION WHAT DO I DO?” Never mind. “TELL HIM TO FUCK OFF AND LET ME SLEEP.”</p><p>“THAT’S A BIT MEAN, INNIT?”</p><p>“THEN WHATEVER! YOU HAVE COOL IDEAS ANYWAYS, RIGHT?”</p><p>“AN INVENTION THAT WILL SPAM POG IF YOUR FRIEND LEAVES YOU ON READ FOR 30 MINUTES.”</p><p>“That’s fucking useless.” Schlatt muttered to himself.</p><p>“YEAH SURE THAT WORKS TOMMY!”</p><p>“THANK YOU BIG MAN.”</p><p>Schlatt sighed as he sunk further into the couch. Why did Tommy always have to speak in capital letters? “Can I sleep now?” The universe grinned. “No.” Schlatt screamed, this time in shock and fear. He turned around to see Tommy. “What is it this time?” Tommy looked back at his phone. “Michael said that it’s too easy, he wants something more challenging.” Schlatt sighed. “A robot that tazes you whenever you say something controversial.”</p><p>Tommy typed into his phone, and after a few seconds he grinned. “He likes the idea!” Schlatt, although tired and annoyed, softly smiled. “Of course he did, I’m awesome.”<br/>
“Whatever you say big man.” Schlatt frowned. “Bitch.”</p><p>Tommy lightly chuckled. “I won’t bother you anymore. Go to sleep.” Schlatt’s smile went wider. “Thanks, Tomathy.” Tommy smiled. “Whatever.” He walked back to his room, closing the lights in the process. Schlatt sighed. “I need a fucking break.”<br/>
The universe lets him sleep...for 5 minutes.</p>
<hr/><p>"This is fucking boring." Tommy said. Schlatt sighed, as he looked at the rearview mirror. "I know Toms, I'm sorry, but your brother is out causing mayhem right now and we can't let him get away with it." Tommy sighed and grinned. "How did he even get the police on his trail?" Schlatt rolled his eyes. "He's used to doing parkour in AMERICA, not in the UK. He's not as familiar with the buildings and alleyways. Bet he's probably on a spree right now." Just as he said that, a loud yelp was heard.</p><p>"That was Dream?" Schlatt nodded. "Dream."</p><p>Schlatt went around the corner, and he decided 'fuck it' and pressed harder on the gas pedal. He quickly gained speed, but he was sane enough to maneuver carefully on the road. He came to a stop once he realized that there was no path for the car to take. "We're going on foot to catch your brother now, Tommy." The teen nodded as he opened the car door and stepped outside. Schlatt did the same, and groaned. "Of course the little shit went to parkour in a fucking FOREST."</p><p>Tommy laughed. "That's Dream for you." Schlatt rolled his eyes. "Yeah, but I'd really appreciate it if he refrained from making me have a heart attack in real life, the lil' shit." They entered the forest, both having flashlights on hand. "Clay?" Tommy whisper-yelled. "CLAY?" He called out louder this time. "Tommy!" Schlatt and Tommy looked at each other and nodded. They headed east. " SCHLATT!" Dream's voice was louder this time, and they began walking faster.</p><p>They eventually reached a cliff. Dream was sitting on the very edge. "What the fuck, Clay!?" Schlatt exclaimed. "I thought you were in a fucking police station, not in a big-ass forest!" Dream smiled and chuckled. "I know, sorry." They both neared the green man, and they sat on both of his sides. "What made you come here?" Tommy asked after a moment of silence. "It's been a month since we've lived here." Dream said in a whisper, but the others could hear him loud and clear.</p><p>"Yeah..?" Dream sighed. "It's been hard, of course. So, I went out on one of my 'expeditions' and stumbled upon this." Schlatt slowly nodded. "So...what made you trick us into coming here?" Dream smiled, and looked over the horizon. The others followed his gaze. They gasped in shock and delight. The sun was rising.</p><p>"It's beautiful, innit?" Dream mocked a british accent. " Shut up Clay." It was Tommy who said that.</p><p>They sat on the edge of the cliff, as they watched the rays of light slowly touch them, the sun covering them with light kisses. A man with a grey hoodie, and black pants watches on, mesmerized. A child looks on with eyes full of wonder, ignoring how cold he felt, especially since he was wearing a red and white short-sleeved shirt and blue overalls. The lime-green hoodie is discarded and now tied around the third man's waist, a black turtleneck providing warmth.</p><p>A family watches on in delight, on the edge of a cliff. They are warm.</p>
<hr/><p>The car stops in front of their house, and as Schlatt steps outside he notices that Stampy is sitting on the little stairs that would lead to their front door. "OH MY GOD." He stands up and walks over to them. "I thought you guys went missing." Tommy chuckled while Schlatt rolled his eyes. "We are two grown men and a 16 year old teenager, Stampycat." The YouTuber sheepishly smiled. "Look, not my fault that you guys are like children to me." Dream raised a brow. "But you're the funny uncle."</p><p>Stampy's face fell, and his smile was replaced with a look of horror. "I'm not the COOL uncle?" He asked. The family of three winced, as they looked at each other and began talking.</p><p>"Oh, yeah uh-"</p><p>"Pretty sure he's the funny uncle-"</p><p>"Who made him think he was the cool uncle-"</p><p>Stampy sighed as he fell to his knees. "I admit defeat." Dream wheezed. "Perish then." "Clay, nO-"</p><p>Tommy placed a hand on Stampy's shoulder. "At least you're the funny uncle." Stampy grinned, and sat up. "Okay, I'm done pretend-sulking. Where were you guys though?" Schlatt grinned. "This fucker," He gestured to Dream. "Thought it was a good idea to lead us on a family outing by pretending he got caught by the police." Stampy raised a brow, intrigued. "Really?"</p><p>Tommy nodded. "And because of him, I messed up my sleeping schedule." Schlatt muttered grimly, although everybody heard him. "That's rough buddy." Dream winced. "Sorry Schlatt." The man looked at him with soulless eyes. "Next time I'm never allowing you to step out of the house ever again." Tommy chuckled. "You couldn't."</p><p>"Correction." Dream stated. "You wouldn't." Stampy sighed. "He's right, you're too much of a softy nowadays." Schlatt creepily smiled. "Call me a softy again after I break every bone in your body." Stampy awkwardly laughed. "Haha...please don't."</p><p>"Since you're here, want to hang out with us?" Dream asked the man. "Sure! Are any of you streaming today though? From what I know, no one else knows that you guys live together right?" Tommy shook his head. "We told two friends. But they're good at keeping secrets." Stampy nodded. "Yeah, I remember. Again, any of you streaming?" Tommy raised his hand. "I am literally the only person in this house who has a proper streaming schedule." Schlatt smiled. "You can hang out with us upstairs and wait until Tommy's done streaming. But for now, you can stay in the living room. He doesn't stream until later." Stampy nodded.</p><p>Schlatt opened the door to the house and let everyone in. "He closed the door behind him. "This the fifth time you've been in our house right?" Dream asked. Stampy chuckled. "Yeah. You guys are yet to come visit me in MY own house." Schlatt smiled. "Maybe next time Stampycat."</p><p>"You guys do know you could just call me Joseph or Garrett right?" Tommy grinned. "Okay Stampycat." Schlatt lightly chuckled. "Fine, we'll call you Joseph now you british shit." Jospeh smiled. "Finally!" Dream laughed. "Don't expect Tommy to call you anything else though. Sometimes he still calls me Dream, even when we're inside the house." Joseph scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, kind of expected that."</p><p>"Anyways, old men." Tommy opened the door to his room and stepped inside. "I'll be playing Minecraft so call me if you need me." He shut the door. The three men looked at each other. "...do you want to play Jackbox?"</p><p>"Yeah!"</p><p>"Sure."</p><p>Schlatt grinned. "Let's go then."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Among Us, Except My Uncle's A Bitch</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tommy streams. The others play Jackbox.<br/>Nothing bad happens that will result to the big reveal of Stampy.<br/>Yep. Totally.</p><p>:)</p><p>ALSO WE HAVE A DISCORD SERVER NOW POGCHAMP THANK YOU DumbQwp FOR HELPING ME OUT LETS GOOOOOOO</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What is up, stream?” Tommy greeted.</p><p>He was only going to play Among Us with some of the biggest streamers and YouTubers of the whole world, so there’s that. Thankfully, Dream, Schlatt, and Stampy were upstairs… playing a game called Jackbox. They were probably all just bored, plus: it was a chance for Uncle Stampy to try out the games that were “in” in the YouTube community. Well, THEIR side of the YouTube community.</p><p>“We’re going to be playing Among Us with some- some famous people this time around, chat. See, the- the moment I enter the lobby, I’ll be FAMOUS, just- just like them chat. Just like them.” Tommy laughs, and takes a sip from his soda can. He realizes that it’s empty and he quickly throws it behind him, successfully landing in the trash can.</p><p>
  <em>peppermint_advertiser: POG POG TRICK SHOT TRICK SHOT&lt;<br/>
saturnnn: STRAIGHT VIBING WITH THIS BRRRRR-<br/>
DodgeTriesWriting: Holy shit trick shot<br/>
zoof: imagine if the can didn’t make it<br/>
commiecricket: we’ll force him to make it :DD<br/>
QuincyCried: you scare me<br/>
FuckCramorant: we will get along well commiecricket-</em>
</p><p>Tommy awkwardly chuckled. “Uhm, well I guess I’m thankful that the can got in, amirite guys?” He changes to his gameplay screen, and now everyone can see his Among Us game up and running. The only thing different now was instead of the picture of the vlog gun being pointed at Wilbur covering the private game code, it was instead a fanart of Tommy with the supposed Cousinnit and… someone with their back slightly facing the front?</p><p>They were wearing a soft blue sweater, and their brown hair was tied in a messy bun. Their face was directed to be looking at something by the side, and everyone could see a well-drawn cocky smirk and a slightly pointy nose. Each of them had flowers in their hair- well, the blue sweater person had three flowers stuck in their bun, while the others had flower crowns.</p><p>Marigolds accompanied blue sweater guy, whilst Tommy had a gardenia; more specifically, a cape jasmine. Cousinnit had pale purple lilacs. Of course, one of the chat members pointed it out, and even went on to explain their meanings.</p><p>
  <em>QuincyCried donated €10!</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Blue sweater guy has marigolds, representing passion and even creativity. Bet they’re the emotional one. Cousinnit has lilacs that represent spring and renewal, also confidence so cousinnit must be a cocky bish smh. Then Tommy the Innit has a cape jasmine meaning purity and gentleness. LMAO YOU SURE BOUT THAT??? Im probably looking too hard into this, continue your day mr innit</em>
</p><p>Tommy laughed. “You actually got the meanings right. I- I expected for you guys to theorize later on twitter, not on stream.” He grabbed another can of coke from the side. He actually had whole stacks of them in boxes, waiting to be consumed. He flicked open the pin and chugged it down in one gulp. He threw it into the trash can once more.</p><p>“Is the code working?” He muttered to himself, although the mic picked it up. “Oh, hello Tommy!” The said teen smiled and shouted, “HEYYYYY BIG S!” He checked to see who was playing, and made a note of all their names after muting himself quickly. “Sykunno, Corpse, Jacksceptiseye, DanTDM, Valkyrae, Pokimane, Pewdiepie, Jaiden Animations and…” He raised a brow. “Markiplier?” His eyes went wide.</p><p>Fuck. He’d been set up by Tubbo and Wilbur. “Those fucking bastards…” He whispered. “Hello! Tommy, was it?” Shit, shit. THE Markiplier was talking to HIM. He quickly unmuted. “What’s up Big M?” He winced. Okay, he could’ve come up with a better nickname, but then again: it was a habit of his already. He doubts it’s going to go away anytime soon.</p><p>“You play Minecraft, right?” Tommy grins. “Uhm- yeah. Lots of Minecraft. Probably the only game I’ll ever play till’ I die.” Mark laughs. HOLY SHIT. HE MADE THE MARKIPLIER LAUGH. “Well, Minecraft never dies. I know from experience.” He smiles. “I know someone who would say the same thing.”</p><p>“Uhm, hey guys? I’m going to start the game now!” Someone, probably Valkyrae, exclaimed. “Alright.”</p><p>
  <strong>10</strong>
</p><p>“Good luck, Mr. TommyInnit. I’m actually quite good at this game.”</p><p>
  <strong>6</strong>
</p><p>A determined look was now set on Tommy’s face.</p><p>
  <strong>4</strong>
</p><p>“We’ll see about that, Markiplier.”</p><p>
  <strong>0</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You Are Impostor</strong>
</p>
<hr/><p>“So, my problem is: How can I…oh my god. Easily get laid.” Stampy cringed inwardly. “I hate this problem already.” Schlatt laughed out loud. “It’s Jackbox, Joseph. Every problem is going to be messed up one way or another.” Dream stated. “Uhm, my solution is… just DON’T TRY to get laid!” Just as Schlatt and Dream were about to boo him, he smirked. “Reject humanity; play games instead.”</p><p>Schlatt clapped his hands rather loudly. “Okay, never mind. That was actually good.” Stampy smirked. “Thanks! Never really played this game before, but I think I’ll be okay… if the problems weren’t too weird.” Dream chuckles. “Again, get used to it.” Stampy awkwardly smiles. “I’ll try.”</p><p>“Does anyone want some booze?” Schlatt asks after suddenly standing up from his place on the beanbag. “I’d rather have some water instead.” Schlatt grins. “I know, Joseph. Coke for you, Dream?” The speedrunner nodded. “Alright. I’ll be back.”</p><p>He walked down the stairs, going straight to the kitchen. He got a glass of water, and went on to find a can for Dream. “What the…” The fridge was empty of the cans of soda. “Pretty sure I stocked up two days ago…” He went to their “storage room,” and the plastic container where he placed the boxes of coke was empty and collecting dust. “What the fuck?” He left, and found himself standing right in front of Tommy’s room.</p><p>He knocked thrice, and he heard Tommy shout, “YEAH- YEAH MUM, I’LL EMPTY THE DISHWASHER.” After a few seconds the door opened and Schlatt made sure to quickly stand by the side, away from the camera’s line of sight. “What’s going on?” Tommy’s voice did a 180 and turned small, timid even. “Did you get all the coke?” Schlatt asked. Tommy nodded with no shame. He even smirked. Schlatt sighed and rolled his eyes. “Just give me one that’s been in your mini-fridge.” Tommy turned back and headed towards the left side of his bed. There, a black and red mini-fridge stood. He swiftly opened it and got out a can of pepsi and closed the fridge door. He went back to Schlatt and handed it to him.</p><p>“Thanks kid. Have fun with your game.” Schlatt placed a hand on Tommy’s hair and ruffled it, ignoring Tommy’s small protests. Schlatt sighed. He knew that Tommy meant no harm though. The teen didn’t try to back away or slap his hand. “Bring them hell.” Tommy grinned at that and mock-saluted him, making Schlatt chuckle.</p><p>“Well, that makes me being impostor quite handy hm?” Schlatt rolled his eyes and lightly ppunched his shoulder. He went back upstairs to where Stampy and Dream were waiting for him. “Guests get first priority.” He said as he handed Stampy the glass. He threw the can of coke to Dream, who successfully caught it. “Rude.” Dream states, although there was no bite behind it. Schlatt rolled his eyes. Huh. ‘I’m doing that a lot recently.’ Schlatt thought.</p><p>“ANYWAYS!” Stampy exclaimed, putting his hands together. “The next problem is yours for the taking, Schlatt!” Schlatt nodded, and read the card on his screen. “How can I stop world peace from happening?” Schlatt smirked. “Easy. Commit mass genocide, and go swish-swish with your fucking long knife.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Okay, so I’m pretty sure that Dan is safe. He was with me the whole time in medbay, and even if the doors closed on us, he didn’t kill me.” Mark states. “Tommy on the other hand…” Tommy rolls his eyes. “I was with Corpse the whole time.” He refrained from calling the popular YouTuber a bitch. “I was doing tasks in admin, my last tasks mind you, and then I went down. I saw him walking into storage from I think…electrical was it?”</p><p>Corpse hummed in response. “Yeah electrical, so I thought ‘Why not just follow the guy, make- make sure that he doesn’t get killed or just sacrifice one for the team if he’s impostor.’ He didn’t kill me; I didn’t kill him. Both of us are safe.”</p><p>“Alright…I guess that checks out?” Dan asks, unsure. “Well, Jaiden doesn’t have an alibi.” That caused the animator to sputter out excuses. “W-what!? I passed by you and Dan! D-don’t you remember!? I was in security!” Mark sighed solemnly. “Only for the last 2 minutes, Jaiden. I’m sorry… OKAY LET’S VOTE HER OUT!” “NO!”</p><p>
  <em>Jaiden was ejected.</em>
</p><p>“What the fuck?” Tommy said in fake confusion. The game was still going. “Oh come on!” Dan exclaimed. “Alrighty, does anyone have any remaining tasks?” Corpse spoke up. “Uhm, yeah. I have one in navigation.” Mark smirked. “Okay then. Let’s go.” The others quickly muted, along with Tommy. He sighed. He was the only impostor left, with Sykunno being voted out during the third round of the game.</p><p>He had to think. Fast. He realized that Dan was heading the opposite direction, and he smirked. If he could kill Dan first, he could easily vent over to navigation and kill either Mark or Corpse. Tommy went on to follow Dan, not before disrupting the lights of course. It seemed that Dan was just moving around, trying not to bump into anyone else who could be impostor. Tommy smiled. “Sorry big man.”</p><p>He pressed the kill button, successfully killing Dan. He went over to a vent in shields, and headed off to navigation. He had to wait for the cooldown before killing anyone though, and Corpse and Mark were already leaving. “Fuck.” He muttered, as he moved to the vent in weapons. He popped out and walked down where he caught up with Mark and Corpse. He quickly followed them to cafeteria, and just as they were about to near the emergency button, he killed Corpse.</p><p>“POG, POGCHAMP!” He shouted, as the victory screen illuminated his room. “WE WERE SOOO CLOSE!” Rae exclaimed, as Tommy cackled. “Good game, everyone!” Sykunno said, a few of the players returning the gesture. “I may have underestimated you, Tommy.” The teen smirked. “HECK YEAH YOU DID, BITCH!” Ah shit. Fortunately, Markiplier seemed to laugh at his “insult,” and Tommy sighed in relief. “Yeah, I did.”</p><p>“Another game, guys!” Jack says, the others agreeing. “I can’t believe we didn’t suspect Tommy first though!” Poki states. Pewdiepie, or Felix, chuckles. “Yeah. I expected the kid to be voted out first round.” Tommy rolls his eyes. “Well, I WON.” Felix hums. “Whatever you say, Tommy.”</p><p>Before Tommy could retaliate, his door opened, and he quickly looked back and took of his headset. “Tommy?” Sykunno calls out his name in confusion. “Hey, Tommy. Your avatar stopped moving around. You didn’t even insult Felix. Are you good?” Unfortunately, Tommy didn’t hear him. They could hear him though. “Hey Toms, you got any silks we could use?” A familiar voice said.</p><p>“Stampy..?” Dan trailed off, as the others listened into the conversation. “Why the fuck would you need my silks?” Tommy asked, seemingly confused. Stampy only laughed. “They’re doing an acrobatic competition or something. At first they thought of doing splits, but they realized that the both of them could do it anyways. Now they want to do aerial silks.” Tommy sighed. “If they ever tangle or mess up any of my silks, tell them that I found a Death Note.” Stampy chuckles. “Hey guys, check out Tommy’s stream.” Jack states. Everyone else went over to Twitch, their own respective chats freaking out when the streamers opened their tab and saw Stampy by the doorway of Tommy’s room.</p><p>“I’ll make sure to tell them that.” Tommy smirks and walks off-screen. He comes back with some large bags. “Here.” He hands over the bags to Stampy. The man smiles. “Thanks.” He smirks. “Oh, and Tommy?” The teen tilts his head in confusion, as he goes to sit on is gaming chair. “Yes?” “Have fun with your stream.” He quickly leaves, as Tommy looks straight at the camera, shock and frustration in his eyes. They quickly turn into rage as he stands up and leaves the room, slamming the door behind him with a large shout of “SON OF A BITCH!”</p><p>The streamers stay quiet, unlike their viewers who were freaking out and spamming all sorts of things. “…the fuck?” Dan said to break the silence. Seems like he didn’t care if he cussed again and make Twitter mad. Suddenly, everyone began talking over each other, with Dan still in shock about his old friend Stampy hanging out with one TommyInnit.</p><p>Felix was playing his recorder off-tune, but everyone knew that he was also shocked by the YouTuber’s arrival. Jaiden was exchanging words with Rae, whilst Poki only muted herself and spoke to her chat instead. Sykunno handed it a bit more maturely, as he muted himself and explained how he didn’t know about who Stampycat was, but he’d be glad to know more about him. Jack and Mark were shouting at each other about who knows what.</p><p>Suddenly, the door opened and everyone went silent. Tommy sat once more on his chair, grumbling about “stupid stream” and “disowning an uncle.” He wore his headset, and spoke into the mic. “H-hello?” He stuttered out. “…Tommy my chat’s freaking out because of you.” Corpse said. He was the only one who stayed silent through the Stampy affair.</p><p>Tommy cackles. “S-sorry big man!” He exclaims. “You live with Stampy?” Dan asks. Tommy shakes his head. “Uhm, no actually. He’s my neighbor.” Dan laughs at that. “That- that’s awesome! How is he?” Tommy smiles. “He’s doing great, besides the fact that he has US as our neighbors now.” He chuckles.</p><p>“What do you mean us?” Jaiden asks. Tommy tenses. “Pretty sure that parents wouldn’t do a competition about aerial silks.” Jack jokes. “Uhm… just some friends. But I- I consider them as family.” Poki “awws.” “That’s so sweet!” Tommy scratches the back of his neck. “Uhm, yeah, yeah- so uhm.” He sheepishly smiles. “Are we going to play another round or?” Felix grins. “He’s hiding us from the TRUTH!” The others laugh. “But, yeah! Sure! Let’s start the game?” Rae asks.</p><p>“Sure!”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“Yes please.”</p><p>“Eh.”</p><p>“Yessss.”</p><p>“Hm.”</p><p>“Okay!”</p><p>“Start!”</p><p>The ten second timer starts, the others waiting in anticipation for their roles.</p><p>
  <strong>10</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>9</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>8</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>7</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>6</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>5</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>4</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>3</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>2</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>1</strong>
</p><p>
  <strong>You Are Impostor</strong>
</p><p>“OH COME ON-“</p>
<hr/><p>Stampy sweatdrops as Tommy only stares at him, unimpressed. “Great job, Uncle Stamp.” He sneers, but there’s no malicious intent behind it. “You are now trending on twitter!” He exclaims. “Oh and uh-“ He turns to Dream and Schlatt. “You guys too, I guess. They call you guys ‘The Innits.’ You know. With capitilized letter and everything. They couldn’t get creative since they wanted to post about it already.” Stampy sighs and scratches the back of his neck. "Sorry, okay? I didn't realize at first, but then I wanted to mess with ya." Tommy rolls his eyes. Dream taps his shoulder and Tommy turns to look at him. "It's an uncle thing Tommy. He," He pretends to wipe away a tear. "He can't control it. All the funny uncles have that condition." Tommy's eyes widen in realization, and he smirks. He pretends to act all concerned. "Oh fuck, sorry. I didn't know." Schlatt booed them "0 out of 10, you guys didn't add in the wife that left them in the backstory."</p><p>Dream rolls his eyes. "You suck, Schlatt." Tommy states. Stampy chuckles. "I will never understand you guys." Schlatt shrugs. "It's a part of our little dynamic, man. You better get used to it." Dream speaks up. "AND, you should better get used to weird questions in Jackbox. Jackbox everybody, don't forget that-"</p><p>The stream was long finished, with Tommy getting loads of viewers (“Were they Stampycat fans?” “Shut up Uncle Joseph.”) from out of nowhere, and him trending on twitter. Again. Well, the #SchlattUK was placed on first, overtaking the other trends. And it didn’t seem to have signs of dying down, especially since it still sat on top despite the new trends. #Stampycat was trending second, with #TheInnits on third. #DanTDM was on fourth, since he cussed during the Stampycat reveal. #Tommy was on fifth.</p><p>“HA! People forgot about Cousinnit!” Schlatt exclaims as he points at Dream. “Point and laugh!” The others do, as Dream only rolls his eyes. He smacks away Schlatt’s hand. “Alright, Technoblade.” He said, referencing to the Twitter reply from his esteemed rival when he hit 16 million subs. Tommy sighs. “This is worst than 2016.” Schlatt snorts. “Ah yes, I do remember 2016. The day that Tommy skipped 2 grades…and also skipped community’s expectations.”</p><p>Stampy raised a brow. “What happened in 2016?” Dream gasps. “Holy shit we’ll tell you all about Tommy when he was just a fucking child.” Schlatt nods enthusiastically. “Please don’t.” Tommy deadpans, but everyone ignores him. “He was such a fucking savage, and he was so ruthless.” Schlatt states.</p><p>“I still wonder to this day how a 12 year old can sass their own substitute teacher for using a different name.” Dream says as he shivers. Tommy rolls his eyes. “You guys are just exaggerating.” It was Schlatt’s turn to roll his eyes this time. “Tell that to the substitute teacher that got fired because of you.” Tommy smiles, spacing out as if he was thinking deeply.</p><p>“Oh yeah, I remember that! Best day of my life.”</p><p>Dream snorts. “So coming to terms with yourself wasn’t the greatest day of your life?” Tommy frowns and stares at Dream with tired eyes. “How about you shut up, green boy.” Dream places a hand above his chest, feigning hurt. “ACK! I’VE BEEN WOUNDED…” Schlatt sighs at their antics while Stampy simply laughs. Schlatt faces him and begins telling him stories about Tommy.</p><p>“So, when he was just 12 years old he dumped all of his old clothes out on the old bridge where people would pass by? Uhm, yeah. He dumped it near the bridge and set it on fire. Half of the neighborhood got angry at that and tried to tell us to restrain him and all that shit but we honestly didn't give a fuck. So I got out my gun...”</p>
<hr/><p>
  <strong>TRENDING</strong><br/>
<strong>1.#SchlattUK</strong><br/>
<em>Famous YouTuber Jschlatt was seen in the UK, eating in the same bakery where fellow streamer FundyLive worked in. Fans alike question if it is a coincidence or not. Probably a coincidence, for Jschlatt has stated that "He wouldn't want to eat in a bakery with a furry if I had known." The said furry retaliates through spamming the streamer's dms, which he himself also decided to leak. "I was getting tired, so why not just hashtag my way in?" Fundy states.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>2.#Stampycat</strong><br/>
<em>OG Minecraft YouTuber Stampycat shows up unannounced during TommyInnit’s stream of Among Us. Nothing else happens.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>3.#TheInnits</strong><br/>
<em>Friends of streamer TommyInnit have an acrobatic competition. They are said to be using aerial silks techniques for their little competition, and TommyInnit tells fellow YouTuber Stampycat that “If they ever tangle or mess up any of my silks, tell them that I found a Death Note.” We will be keeping updates on whether or not the teen streamer has gotten the Death Note. Stay tuned to the news, and check out if two people have been proclaimed dead by something unexplainable. </em>
</p><p>
  <strong>4.#DanTDM</strong><br/>
<em>Family-friendly YouTuber DanTDM cusses during one of his Among Us streams during the big Stampycat reveal. People try to cancel him, but no one cares anymore and his fans defend him.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>5.#Tommy</strong><br/>
<em>Streamer TommyInnit has been trending for more than 3 times, and it seems that his fans have made it their job to keep that trending streak on the board. No one knows why he's trending all of a sudden, but no one is complaining about the well-earned success of the teen streamer because of his hard work and ambition.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I updated now because next week I've got exams. Expect no updates next week.</p><p>ALSO DISCORD SERVER BITCH.<br/>https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p><p>Edit: 3359 WORDS I'M POPPIN OFF BABY-</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Sorry Phil And Sam, Stampy's My New Dad Now</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Schlatt really wants to sleep, especially since the past few weeks. Too bad his family won't stop bothering him...the day before his meet-up with Wilbur. AND, they're going to be streaming.<br/>He must've pissed off the Pope somehow.</p><p>Also, inspired by oneshot request by LetTheRamSleep.</p><p>For a friend of mine, happy birthday :)</p><p>Edit: Fanart by Skyn0_dreAms!!!  https://www.instagram.com/p/CKgg94pFt3TWfnELZdU4FI7YvXMRVkrd_8UjP80/?igshid=ctroe3sscr7r</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I speedran this for you goddamnit pliz say something.<br/>Edit: 3674 words<br/>Join the discord &gt;:)<br/>https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you really have to go, though?” Dream asked for the fifth time that day. Schlatt groaned. “Yes.” Tommy joined in on the conversation. “I mean, you don’t necessarily have to, you know?”<br/>
Schlatt crossed his arms. “I’m only going over to Wilbur’s. That’s it.” Dream rolled his eyes. “The guy HATES me. Or well, the Roya me.” He looked to the side, pretending that he was deep in thought.</p><p>“I still remember the glares of envy and hatred…” Schlatt hit the back of his head lightly, causing Dream to let out a small yelp. “Stop making it sound like some trauma incident.” Tommy perked up. “It’s possible- “Schlatt covered his mouth quickly, shaking his head. “Not now, Tomathy.” The moment he took off his hand, the teen quickly stuck out his tongue and went to his room.</p><p>Schlatt turned to Dream. The man raised a brow. Schlatt sighed. “I’ll be okay you distorted Teletubby.” He turned around to leave, ignoring Dream’s protests of not being one. “Are you really going to be okay though?” Schlatt looked back. “I mean yeah, last I remember I’m not entering a cult or military camp.” Dream solemnly smiled. “I know. It’s just…”</p><p>“…you’ve been having problems sleeping lately.” Schlatt’s breath hitched. Did he really just pass on his anxiety about the meet-up to his little brother? Curse himself. He walked back to where Dream sat and placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll be okay Clay.” He said, using his real name. Dream nodded, as he brought in Schlatt for a hug.</p><p>He hesitantly let go of Schlatt’s hoodie and smiled. “Annoy Wilbur for me and Tommy, okay?” Schlatt lightly chuckled. “Will do.” He was by the door now. “Also, I think it’s supposed to be Tommy and I-" "Fuck off Schlatt it's the pandemic." Schlatt cackled.<br/>
He stepped out of their front door, closing it behind him. He smiled at the people in front of him. “Thanks for picking me up.” Stampy raised a brow. “We literally live across each other.” Schlatt ignored him and faced his other friend.</p><p>“You too, I guess.” Dia shrugged. “Got nothing to do anyways.” Ted piped up. “What about me, I literally flew over.” He stated, pretending to be offended. “…you only flew over so that I could pay you back the 50 dollars. I could’ve just used PayPal, Ted.” Schlatt said carefully, saying the whole sentence slowly. “That means NOTHING to me!”</p><p>Dia rolled their eyes, but a grin was on their face. “Can we go already?” They asked. Stampy smirked. “We can use my car!” Schlatt smirked. “Sweet.” They all went inside the sleek red car besides Ted, who was still sulking. “GET IN THE CAR!” Dia yelled out. Ted only stood his ground. Schlatt rolled down the window, and shouted, “GET IN THE CAR BEFORE I TELL TOMMY TO BEAT YOU WITH A STICK!” That immediately made him move, and he sat next to Schlatt, closing the car door. Dia and Stampy were up-front.</p><p>“Brighton?”</p><p>“Brighton.”</p>
<hr/><p>“<strong>Hello, Wilbur’s chat.</strong>” Schlatt said, messing with the voice changer. Wilbur only sighed and tried to take away the mic from him to no avail. “<strong>What’s going on, Wilbur’s chat? How are you doing, Wilbur’s chat? Wilbur doesn’t love you, Wilbur’s chat-</strong> “<br/>
“OKAY, OKAY THAT’S ENOUGH SCHLATT.” Wilbur turned off the voice changer to Schlatt’s dismay. “Oh come on!” He said in an annoyed tone, as he sat down next to Wilbur. Wilbur’s chat was going haywire.</p><p>
  <em>QuincyCried: is this illegal? This feels illegal.<br/>
FuckCramorant: this is totally illegal but no one’s complaining<br/>
Nuetella: QUINCY I SEE YOU<br/>
QuincyCried: DAMNIT<br/>
nonamebixth: WOOOOOOOOO<br/>
DreamRings: Well, this is going to be exciting!!!<br/>
k3yboaRdSMaCK: THE VOICE CHANGER ABDJBNDW<br/>
averyconfusedperson: schlatt and wilbur content uwu<br/>
Dr_Mori: MEETUP<br/>
i_am_trash_15: :DD &lt;333<br/>
SirCielo: QUINCY QUINCY CONTENT CONTENT<br/>
QuincyCried: YEAH YEAH I GET IT-<br/>
Shiny: woahh<br/>
Karochan05: Nice!!</em>
</p><p>Schlatt awkwardly chuckled. It’s been a while ever since he did a stream where everyone could see his face. Now he was in front of Wilbur’s monitor with his camera on, more than 10K people watching his every move. “Uhm…” Wilbur, noticing his slight discomfort, quickly spoke up. “ANYWAYS, chat! We’re going to play with Schlatt today.”</p><p>“Probably some good ol’ Minecraft, except he just sits back and watch while I do all the work.” Schlatt raised a brow. “So what, I’m only here for your ego to be boosted?” Wilbur’s mind stuttered, and so did his voice. “W-what? No, you’re- “Schlatt raised his middle finger. “Fuck you, Wilbur Soot, but I’m going to play Minecraft with you. I’ll control the mouse. You control the keyboard.” Wilbur laughed. “O-okay then!”</p><p>Wilbur made a new world for them to play in. “Oh come on!” Wilbur exclaimed in frustration. They spawned in the middle of an ocean, only 2 trees in their vicinity. Just as he was about to grab the mouse, Schlatt slapped his hand away. “What the hell man!” He was going to create a new world, hopefully one with a better world spawn, if it weren’t for Schlatt. “No can do, Wilbur!” Schlatt smirked.<br/>
“I control the mouse. YOU control the keyboard from now on. You’re stuck with me now.” Wilbur groaned. “I regret letting you come over.” Schlatt cackled.</p><p>“ONWARDS.” Schlatt shouted near Wilbur’s ear. “Okay, okay! I’m going-“ Schlatt nudged Wilbur, earning a small grunt. “Face the tree.” Wilbur did as he was told. Schlatt pressed down on the mouse, as their now shared character began breaking the wood. Once they finished the whole tree, they moved onto the next one.</p><p>“Open your inventory.” Wilbur muttered something under his breath, but nonetheless pressed the letter E on the keyboard. They made a crafting table and set it down in front of them. “Should we make an axe instead of a sword?” Schlatt asked out of the blue. “Both.” Schlatt nodded as he followed the recipe into making some sticks. After creating a sword, axe and pickaxe, Schlatt finally made a boat</p><p>“Are you done already?” Wilbur asked, impatient. Schlatt only raised his middle finger at him and got rid of the crafting table, then picked it up. Wilbur walked towards the shore as Schlatt put out the boat and made them sit on it. “Get rowing, Wilbur Soot!” Schlatt yelled out, while Wilbur only rolled his eyes. There was a small grin evident on his face though.</p><p>They started out by trying to get some stone, and then moved onto iron. While mining, Schlatt recognized the sound of lava. “Wilbur, Wilbur- wait.” Their character stopped moving. “Let’s mine straight down. Ready our water bucket.” Wilbur raised a brow. “I’m not going to risk my iron armor, Schlatt. It literally took us an hour to get it-“ “Wilbur.” They stared at each other for a few minutes.</p><p>
  <em>QuincyCried: this is really really awkward lmaoooo<br/>
SirCielo: Tell me about it.<br/>
InfinityWarsDestroyedMe: nah it’s just all coming together<br/>
QuincyCried: you saying that scares me. (oh yo also, happybday bitch)<br/>
DumbQwp: cooper isn’t streaming sadly but then I saw wilbur and schlatt content<br/>
QuincyCried: F<br/>
Nuetella: f</em>
</p><p>They both looked back at the monitor at the same time. Wilbur made their character face down, before Schlatt began mining. At the fourth block, Schlatt and Wilbur screamed in unison when they saw the familiar texture of lava. “WATER BUCKET, WATER BUCKET-“</p><p>They were able to place down the water on time, and Schlatt sighed in relief. “I’m never going to let you touch my fucking mouse ever again after this.” Schlatt turned to Wilbur with an offended look. “HEY! IT WORKED OUT DIDN’T IT!?” Wilbur ignored him as Schlatt scoffed. “Bitch…” He muttered under his own breath. He sighed, as he placed his arm on Wilbur’s desk. He placed his head on it like some make-shift pillow, and he subtly yawned.</p><p>He looked at Wilbur, who seemed to be too focused on the game they were playing. He looked back at the computer screen, and his eyes widened when he saw multiple diamonds by their right. He wasn’t able to stare at it for much longer though. Wilbur began moving north. He harshly tugged at Wilbur’s sweater as his head shot up, trying to ignore the familiar feeling of drowsiness that was invading him.</p><p>“WILBUR.”</p><p>“What is it this time Schlatt.”</p><p>“DIAMONDS.”</p><p>“I don’t see any diamonds, what do you mean?”</p><p>“I MEAN DIAMONDS BY YOUR RIGHT, DIPSHIT!”</p><p>“I DON’T SEE ANY DIAMONDS!”</p><p>“YOU MISSED SOME DIAMONDS.”</p><p>“I DON’T SEE ANY FUCKING DIAMONDS, SCHLATT-“</p><p>“GO BACKWARDS-“</p><p>“CREEPER-“</p><p>A creeper exploded right next to them, and their character died. They both tensed up. After a few minutes of silence, Schlatt groaned and sunk into his chair. Wilbur muttered a few curses under his breath, before facing Schlatt. He lightly chuckled, ignoring the “You Died!” on his monitor screen.</p><p>“Man, how do the Dream Team do it?” Wilbur joked. At this, Schlatt perked up. He was deemed big sister brother, right? Might as well brag about the others then. “I don’t know, but they’re good.” Especially Dream. “Didn’t Dream just- just pass his 16 million sub count, too? He’s already at 17 million, lucky guy.” Wilbur laughed. “True! Who wouldn’t want to be the Dream man himself, speed running sub milestones faster than PewDiePie himself!”</p><p>Schlatt smirked. ‘It’s working.’</p><p>Meanwhile, somewhere in Hampshire, a man in a disgusting lime green hoodie covers his face with his hands, embarrassed. Tommy grins. “What, are you seriously embarrassed?” Dream didn’t answer; instead, he took one of the pillows on the couch and screamed into it.</p><p>“OH! BITCH BOY IS EMBARASSED!” Tommy exclaimed. “OHHHH, I’M NEVER GOING TO LET YOU LIVE THIS DOWN! I’M TELLING SCHLATT-“ Dream ignored him in favor of trying to hide the creeping blush on his face.<br/>
Then, he got rid of the pillow.</p><p>“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-”</p>
<hr/><p>Dia was in the car with Stampy and Ted. The others were complaining about being told to stay in the car, as Dia rolled their eyes. They were bored, to say the least. They exited the vehicle, gaining the attention of their two companions. Ted poked out his head through the now open car window.</p><p>“Hey, hey- what are you doing?” Dia continued walking forward, even pulling out their phone and not looking back. “Sight-seeing!” They shouted, before they turned a corner and were now out of sight.<br/>
Stampy and Ted looked at each other. “What now?” Stampy shrugged. “…I think I saw a coffee shop nearby. I could go get some for the both of us?” Ted shook his head. “I’ll get it instead.”</p><p>Stampy nodded, as he took out his wallet and handed some money to Ted. “What do you want?”<br/>
“Just get whatever.” Ted smirked, and he stepped out of the car. “Stay safe, Cat-Man!” Stampy resisted the urge to shout at Ted for the nickname, but he was too busy watching the on-going stream. He lightly chuckled when the Dream Team were brought up. “And there he goes again, bragging about Dream.”</p><p>The day went on, with Wilbur’s stream reaching up to 3 hours. Surprisingly, the more people left, the more came. Stampy suspected most of them to be Schlatt fans, due to the fact that the man still hasn’t streamed for 2 whole months. After 2 weeks, it would be 3. This time, the duo stopped playing Minecraft and started answering questions instead. Their little Q and A reached other people, which resulted to some last-minute guests.</p><p>First was Tommy. He called Wilbur out of the blue and started annoying him, but spared Schlatt from his “online personality.” In the end, Wilbur hung up on him and even went as far as to mute him in every social media account he had. Schlatt chuckled, imagining Tommy sitting in his room with a pout on his face. He would probably be complaining about Wilbur later when he finally arrived home.</p><p>Second person to visit was surprisingly Phil. But Schlatt could understand why. Although they weren’t that “buddy-buddy” with each other, they were still good friends. Schlatt had to suppress his laughter when Wilbur ALSO hung up on Phil. When questioned later, he would reply, “He was supporting anteaters again.”</p><p>Quackity called them from Schlatt’s phone, and when Schlatt finally answered the call, the song Despacito immediately filled the room. Needless to say, he also didn’t have that much time before being muted and ignored.</p><p>“What is up with these guys?” Schlatt asked to no one in particular in the middle of the stream. They were still at it for 30 minutes, and he was getting pretty tired. Wilbur laughed. “They probably wanted to get our attention.” Schlatt cackled. “More like YOUR attention, I wasn’t the one who got bothered about anteaters.” At this Wilbur sat up straight. “They are DISGUSTING, FOUL CREATURES OF THE EARTH. Why do they even exist anyway-“ Schlatt snorted. “You eat sand.” “And for good reason!”</p><p>“That is?” Schlatt asked, waiting for an answer. Wilbur only stayed silent as Schlatt smirked. “<strong>Ladies and gentlemen…</strong>” He used the voice changer once more. “<strong>We gottem.</strong>” Wilbur covered his ears, turning off the device. “God damn it, Schlatt!” Schlatt lightly chuckled. He rested his head on his arm once more and faced the table instead.</p><p>Wilbur didn’t notice though, and neither did stream.</p><p>“Anyways, uhm…I guess this is a good time to end stream? Well, goodbye chat-“ He was interrupted mid-sentence by a call. A call in discord. Wilbur groaned, covering his face with his hands. “Who is it this time?” Schlatt asked, although his voice was muffled by the fabric of his hoodie. “Charlie.” Schlatt raised his head, looking at Wilbur. “Tell him to shut up.”</p><p>“Too late!” It was Schlatt’s turn to groan this time. “Heya, Charlie Slimecicle! How are you doing?” Wilbur greeted. “Doing swell actually, in fact I’m…” You could hear Charlie giggle. “…sliming right now!” Wilbur shook his head, but a grin was on his face. “That was horrible, Charlie.”<br/>
“Why do you got to be soot-ch an asshole, Wilbur?” Schlatt replied, “Because he is one.” Wilbur elbowed him by the side, while Schlatt remained still. “Anyways, Charlie.”</p><p>“I’m supposed to end stream right now, we’ve bene going at it for what, 2? 3 hours?” He looked to the side as he stared at a clock. His mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. “4 hours.” Schlatt cut in. He yawned again. At this, Wilbur turned to Schlatt. It was only by now that he realized how tired Schlatt really looked. He had light eyebags, and his eyes were becoming droopy. Wilbur frowned.</p><p>“Schlatt, you good?” He asked. Schlatt remained silent. “Schlatt?” He nudged him lightly by the shoulder. No answer. Suddenly, there was a knock on his door. “Wait here.” He said, and he didn’t know if he was referring to stream or his two friends. He reached the door, still in sight of the camera. He opened it.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>30 minutes ago, Stampy was frowning at his phone screen. Some people would think that he was probably watching something sad on YouTube or reading a message. But he was watching Wilbur’s stream on Twitch, and he immediately went on alert when he noticed the way that Schlatt seemed to sway side by side, as if he forgot how to balance himself.</p><p>He got out of the car, locking it in the process. He passed by Ted when he turned a corner. He was holding 4 cups of coffee with the help of a handle. “Hey man!” He only walked away, ignoring Ted. “What is up with that guy..?” Ted reached the car, as he tried to open the car to no avail. “What the?” He tried pulling the handle again. “Yo.” Ted totally didn’t jump in fear and shock, and when he turned around, he was face to face (or well, chest to face now that he thought about it. Man, his friends are SHORT.) with Dia.</p><p>“What’s going on?” Dia asked. “I think the car’s locked.” Dia shrugged.</p><p>“I mean, I don’t have the keys.”</p><p>“I don’t have them either.”</p><p>They looked at each other in realization. “STAMPY!”</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>Stampy waved his hand. “Oh! Are you Schlatt’s friend?” Stampy nodded, not responding verbally. He didn’t want to reveal himself as Schlatt’s “chaperone.” There was enough drama in twitter about him and Tommy being neighbors, and he didn’t want to imagine the next controversies and theories about his and Schlatt’s relationship with one another.</p><p>“Oh well uhm, I think he’s over there-“ Stampy quickly stepped in, and he shielded his face from the camera. He knelt on one knee and lightly shook the tired man. “Schlatt?” He whispered. Schlatt turned his head to the side to face Stampy. “…Dad, I thought you left with the milk years ago...?” Wilbur snorted, causing Stampy to look up. Oh right. He was still in Wilbur’s apartment.</p><p>“Come on buddy.” Schlatt whined. “Fuck off, sandman. It’s not my time to die yet.” Wilbur smirked. “You mean grim reaper?” Schlatt raised his head, causing the stream to see his droopy face. The man himself didn’t care though, too focused on flipping off Wilbur. “Schlatt.” Stampy breathed out, feeling like a tired dad.</p><p>“Stay still.” He looped Schlatt’s arm over his own shoulder, trying to focus on balancing himself and Schlatt. “How are you so light?” He said out loud, forgetting about keeping his voice low. He whipped his head to look at one of Wilbur’s monitors, and noticed the chat going at a rapid pace. He winced. “I’ll be going now, goodbye-“ He quickly carried Schlatt bridal style, and headed out of the door. Wilbur waved his arm awkwardly, then faced the camera. “Chat, are you okay?”</p><p>“Oh god, oh god, oh god.” Schlatt stirred in his arms, and Stampy halted to a stop. He was sweating profusely, praying that the man wouldn’t wake up. Schlatt went limp, and Stampy let out a breath he didn’t know that he held in. Getting out of the building, he heads towards the car…which was parked at least 4 or 5 miles away. He groaned.</p><p>“You’re lucky that you’re light.” He walked through the pain (“Pogged through the pain.” “Shut up Tommy, he’s trying to tell what happened.”), counting the tiles and houses that he passed by to distract him from the abstract which was time. “STAMPY!” He was suddenly met with a light slap to the face, which he reciprocated. “What was that for?” “You locked us out of the car. For an hour.” Stampy sheepishly smiled, trying to come up with an excuse.</p><p>“Is that Schlatt?” Well, taking care of his sleepless friend was a good excuse, right? He handed over Schlatt to Ted, he merely grunted by the added weight. He took out his keys and finally opened the door. Dia slid in quickly. “You guys could be up front. I’ll watch over Schlatt.” They all agreed. Stampy stepped into the driver’s seat, with Ted following closely behind. Dia was at the back listening to music whilst Schlatt was sleeping by their shoulder.</p><p>Before he pressed the gas pedal, he looked at the rearview mirror. Schlatt was still sleeping peacefully, with Dia sending him a prideful look. He rolled his eyes and finally pressed the pedal. Ted grinned.</p><p>“Let’s go home.”</p>
<hr/><p>Schlatt groaned into his hands after throwing his phone onto a neat pile of clothes. Tommy smirked. “Not going to check it, big man?” Schlatt gave him a glare. “No.” Dream snickered. “Two down, one more to go!” Stampy raised a brow. “Which is you, isn’t it?” Dream nodded, before turning pale. “Oh.” Dia cackled. “Sucks to be you guys!” Ted laughed. “True.”</p><p>Schlatt sighed as he rolled his eyes. “I’ll be turning off my twitter notifications then.”</p><p>“And Instagram.”</p><p>“And Reddit.”</p><p>“And Discord.”</p><p>“And just in case, maybe Tumblr-“</p><p>“I GET IT.”</p><p>Dia smirked, as they continued typing on their phone.</p><p><strong>@???</strong><br/>
So…Schlatt plus famous person meet-up when?<br/>
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5:46 PM · Feb 1, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
5.3K Retweets 46 Quote Tweets 123.5K Likes<br/>
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<strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
<strong>@???</strong> Hopefully never<br/>
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5:46 PM · Feb 1, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
5.3K Retweets 46 Quote Tweets 123.5K Likes<br/>
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  <strong>TRENDING</strong><br/>
<strong>1.#StampySchlatt</strong><br/>
<em>Two well-known gamers of the YouTube and Twitch community were seen in fellow streamer Wilbur Soot’s livestream. Many people are baffled by this event, causing fans alike to spam on Twitter. They have lacked the creative ability of coming up a name for the duo, and so mashed up their names instead.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>2.#Soot-ch</strong><br/>
<em>Wilbur Soot is left confused on his livestream, and people are joining the bandwagon which is streamer Charlie Slimecicle’s puns. One of them being, “Why do you got to be soot-ch an asshole, Wilbur?” Needless to say, the streamer isn’t very amused by this new trend. But it still continues on, and there are no signs of it dying soon.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>3.#SchlattUK</strong><br/>
<em>It is trending yet again, this time for different reasons. The Wilbur Schlatt meet-up by the bottom, with the Stampycat surprise visit topping it all off. Coincidence, or not? People have been spamming streamer TommyInnit's dms, and this was known by the teen himself. He tells the fans to "calm the fuck down and respect our privacy."</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>4.#SleepySchlatt</strong><br/>
<em>JschlattLive was noticeably tired during his stream with friend Wilbur Soot, which resulted to many cute and weird fancams of him spreading all over the internet. Even previous Lunch Club members have joined the trend, along with people from the hit MineCraft roleplay Dream SMP. Schlatt vents on Twitter, but his friends continue on the trend.</em>
</p><p>
  <strong>5.#TwitterCrash</strong><br/>
<em>Due to the multiple people spamming on Twitter because of the recent trends, the app had crashed and was brought back up after 3 whole hours. Non-fans are left confused, but some of them have expressed their annoyance of the "stans."<br/>
"Crashing Twitter just because of a simple meet-up, and an old man? Not worth it smh." One of our users said. Don't worry, we already banned them :)</em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>THANK YOU Skyn0_dreAms FOR THE FANART UEWBHEGVERGVHURUI<br/>join the discord idiots<br/>https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Beth...The Kids Are Making Stampy Paranoid Again!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's Valentines Day, and Stampy is paranoid.<br/>Blame the Vaulters for that.<br/>At least Schlatt is having fun.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You know when you feel really really guilty for not posting for more than a week and end up burning yourself out.<br/>Yeah. This is the aftermath.</p><p>Happy very late Valentine's day, my platonic love.<br/>This isn't even the whole gift.<br/>Edit: 6339 WORDS LMAOOO LET'S GO BURNOUT-</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><strong>@jschlatt</strong><br/>
Happy valentine’s day fuckers. I don’t love you<br/>
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12:01 AM · Feb 7, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
5.6K Retweets 48 Quote Tweets 123.3K Likes<br/>
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“Happy valentine’s day!”</p><p>The Vaulters cheered. Stampy chuckled. “Man, this is our what, second? Third? Well, whatever. Cheers for how many years we’ve known each other and STILL stayed single.” Tommy mutters something near to, “Says the man who’s practically married…” but Stampy ignores him. “Actually, more than 3 years for us, but let’s congratulate Stampy for joining us in our shenanigans and NOT have his body found in a ditch!”</p><p>Stampy laughed. “I’m pretty sure I’m going to die because of stress.” Schlatt smirked. “Heart attack?” Dream nudged him by the side, causing Schlatt to chuckle. Stampy rolled his eyes. “Some of you guys are going to stream, right?” Dia scoffed. “More like Tommy is going to. Seriously, he’s too got up in the lore. He’ll miss one day of streaming, and then suddenly he’s missed 3 arcs.”</p><p>Tommy raised his arms in defense. “Okay, I won’t disagree on that part since it is true.” Schlatt rolled his eyes as the others laughed. “Anyways, since it’s V-Day and all that you know? Who has a Valentine?” Surprisingly, only Stampy and Tommy raised their hand. Everyone stared at Dream. “…what?” Tommy snorted. “Got rejected by George?” Dream shook his head. “No. Didn’t even ask anyone, really.”</p><p>“Well, how about you Tommy? Don’t tell me you got a special someone before any of us.” Tommy pretended to act disgusted. “I’m a big man, I don’t need a woman NOR a man for a Valentine!” Dia sighed. “One of your friends asked you to be their platonic Valentine for the day, didn’t they.” It was more of a statement than a question.</p><p>Tommy nodded with a deadpanned look on his face. “Who?” Tommy chuckled at that. “That’s the thing. I don’t know.” Schlatt raised a brow. “What do you mean you don’t know?” Tommy shrugged. “I remember agreeing to it, but I don’t remember who even asked me. Suddenly, I wake up and find my calendar marked on February 14.”<br/>
Okay, that was a lie. Tommy knew who his Valentine was. Everyone in the Vaulters knew who his Valentine was. Tommy basically had a Valentine each year, and it was always the same person.</p><p>“Well, Valentines aside, what about the people without Valentines?” Schlatt hummed. “Probably visit that bakery again. Also going to hang out with a close friend of mine. They flew over.” Dream snorted. “I thought you didn’t want to come back because of the Twitter drama going on?” Schlatt shrugged. “They’ve cancelled me more times than I can count, I could handle the opposite.”</p><p>“But can you?” Dia taunted. Schlatt glared at them. “Shut up block kinnie.” Stampy laughed. “Alright, that’s enough. I’m going to spend Valentine’s Day with my wife, you guys do whatever.” Schlatt perked up. “Tell Bethany we said hi then.” Stampy nodded, already heading out the door. “Well..?” Schlatt gestured to the rest. Tommy hopped off the kitchen counter. He got out of the house the same way Stampy did.</p><p>Dia walked over to a nearby window and lifted it open, getting through. “Where are you going?” Dream called out. “A police station!” Dream rolled his eyes and turned to Schlatt. “You and me then, unless you’re going to the bakery.” Schlatt shrugged. “You could come with me.” Dream shook his head. “I’d rather not. People might get suspicious.”</p><p>“Your choice then. Don’t do anything stupid.” Schlatt said, standing up. “Call me if it’s an emergency, okay?” Dream nodded. Schlatt finally left through the door, and Dream sighed.</p><p>“Time to re-watch Voltron: Legendary Defenders I guess.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Sky, the usual please.” They nodded, turning to their co-worker. Schlatt returned to his seat as he took out his phone. Twitter was still chaotic as always, so he settled on looking at Tumblr instead. Just as he pressed the app, he suddenly realized that he forgot to make a post. He quickly went to his photo gallery and sighed in relief when he saw one of his most current artworks saved inside an album.</p><p>He quickly switched to Tumblr, typing in a few words and adding tags to make his work easy to stumble upon. He then clicked post, and watched as the likes and reblogs began rolling in.</p><p>
  <strong>raminasweater</strong>
</p>
<h5>Your Local Harvard Dropout</h5><p>
  <em>They/Them for now please<br/>
Anyways,<br/>
LOCAL HARVARD DROPOUT, DROP SOME CURSED ASKS IF YOU CAN<br/>
ALSO AN ARTIST, DROP SOME COMISSIONS, BUT SEE PINNED POST<br/>
I haven’t slept for a week.</em>
</p><p> </p><p><strong>raminasweater</strong><br/>
So uhm…art commissions???<br/>
I make enough money anyways with my other job so like, 15 dollars and I’ll make you a whole ass colored and shaded Avengers: Endgame poster with effects. If you don’t want anything fancy like that, I’ll just remove 5-10 dollars for the payment depending on your request. Don’t worry I’m not like Butch Hartman lmaoo.<br/>
Check out my <span class="u">Patreon</span> and <span class="u">Ko-fi</span>. You can pay me through <span class="u">PayPal</span>. DM me or something.<br/>
- DO NOT STEAL ANY OF MY COMMISSIONS/ART<br/>
- NO NSFW STUFF<br/>
- NO EXTREME GORE<br/>
- ART OF ORIGINAL CHARACTERS REQUIRE AN ALREADY MADE DRAWING OF THEM<br/>
I’m on <span class="u">Twitter</span> too, check that out I guess, but I rarely use it.<br/>
<strong>=Pinned Post=</strong><br/>
<strong>Send to||Reblog||Like</strong></p><p> </p><p><strong>raminasweater</strong><br/>
happy valentine’s day bitch <strong>@swirlyportalgobrr</strong><br/>
[Art of Karl Jacobs in his multi-colored hoodie with a determined look on his face is shown. It seems as if he’s falling into a portal with green and portal swirls. Pages with distinct scribbles are flying around with titles like The Masquerade and The Lost City of Mizu. Karl is also wearing a pair of goggles, and clocks with varying sizes surround him from behind. He also has one black fingerless glove that is holding some sort of old-timely stopwatch. It is hanging from his neck with the help of a thin, silver chain. Their signature was placed on the bottom right.]</p><p> </p><p><strong>swirlyportalgobrr</strong><br/>
RAM IT WAS JUST A JOKE YOU DIDN’T NEED TO DO THE ART BDCJSBSBFED THANK YOU SO MUCH (°\\\\°)</p><p> </p><p><strong>raminasweater</strong><br/>
YOU’RE TELLING ME I COULD’VE SAVED UP MY TIME BY DOING SOMETHING MORE PRODUCTIVE??? WTF MAN.<br/>
<strong>Send to||Reblog||Like</strong><br/>
<em>#Art #ArtComission #HappyValentine’sDay #FuckYou #&gt;:((</em></p>
<hr/><p>Schlatt groaned, his hands covering his face. Sky approached him with his order. “You good man?” Schlatt rolled his eyes. “No.” Blunt and simple. Sky shrugged. “Sucks to suck I guess.” Schlatt glared, but there was no malicious intent behind it. “I hate you.” Sky smirked. “You’re stuck with me now.”</p><p> </p><p>Schlatt watched as Sky turned away, and he sighed. He looked back at his phone- what the fuck?<br/>
4,325 likes and 5,857 REBLOGS? “Holy shit.” Schlatt muttered. He checked his notifications, surprised at the multiple new followers. He thought he would find a mutual or familiar tumblr, but he found only one.</p><p> </p><p>‘Make that three.’ Schlatt thought as he smiled. Despite having so many followers, he only had two mutuals. Well, four if he were on twitter. There was Swirl, a Karl Jacobs fanatic. Also the person he drew art for this Valentine’s Day. Then there was Amnesiac, or ICompletelyForgot. This time, they supported Ranboo specifically. On twitter, he was mutuals with SAD-ist and Crumb.</p><p> </p><p>Another notification dinged, and this time it was a tag.</p><p> </p><p><strong>icompletelyforgot</strong><br/>
Wait it’s Valentine’s Day??? No gift for me @raminasweater???</p><p> </p><p><strong>raminasweater</strong><br/>
Fuck you.<br/>
[A drawing of Ranboo sitting under a tree as rain pours down. An enderman is with him, clutching a dirt block and seemingly handing it over to Ranboo. It was as if they were having a conversation with one another and in the background, you could see a blurry image of Ram’s persona, which was a person in a blue sweater. They had their hair tied into a bun, and a red flower clasped into their hand. A bee was following Ram around. Like all their other artworks, their signature was placed on the bottom right of the border.]<br/>
<strong>Send to||Reblog||Like</strong><br/>
<em>#Art #ArtComission #HappyValentine’sDay #FuckYouToo</em></p><p> </p><p>Karl grinned at the artwork in front of him and saved it to his phone. Yeah. He was Swirly.<br/>
And he was glad to see that Ram was being…well, Ram. The occasional “Fuck you.” to either him or Amnesiac was fun, he realized, after a whole year of knowing them. He was glad that Ram was able to make it this far, but then he noticed a few things he didn’t like.</p><p>One, Ram’s artworks on twitter was being covered by other well-known artists like SAD-ist or Crumb. Ram didn’t care much, seeing as they always posted on Tumblr anyways, but Karl knew that for Ram to be noticed by any of the creators they drew fanart of they had to post more on Twitter.</p><p>Little to none of them had Tumblr, maybe besides Ranboo but his Tumblr wasn’t known. He was pretty sure no one had taken an initiative to “branch out” and go onto other social media platforms since the ones they had now was enough for their community to grow. But it was unfair in a way.<br/>
Okay, maybe Karl was biased, but he LOVED Ram’s works. Plus, they were a Harvard dropout. Most people would be ashamed of that fact, but Ram?</p><p>
  <strong>They took it in stride.</strong>
</p><p>Ram was not only relatable to people struggling in classes, but they were relatable to the people EXCELLING them like star student burnouts. Karl vividly remembers the day that Ram made a whole essay on physics for an anon Harvard Student…during a one-hour deadline. The anon then revealed themselves later on and thanked Ram, even going so far as to say that “I am forever in debt to you.”</p><p>So yeah, Ram was loved inside the art community and student community. So maybe that was why he was on Twitter, leaking his Tumblr account (Never his main account. SwirlyPortalGoBrr will be a secret that will go down with him to his GRAVE). Maybe that was why after leaking it, he immediately went on to reblog all of Ram’s posts. Maybe that’s why he reblogged a previous post of his where him and Ram had a conversation about “eating the rich.”</p><p>Maybe he was the reason why Ram suddenly had so many notes and reblogs the moment they posted the artwork for Amnesiac, and suddenly boosted from 7k followers to 9k. Eh. Ram could thank him later. After all, he was pretty sure that Mr. Beast told them that they could all have a 2-month break from making videos. He was even free to go off-country!</p><p>Maybe that was why he was sitting inside an airplane headed for the UK. I mean, it’s been a while ever since they had a proper meet-up. 10 years could take its toll on someone after all. Karl grinned.</p><p>“Hampshire, here I come.”</p>
<hr/><p>Ranboo spit out his drink.</p><p>He was just scrolling through Twitter after liking and reblogging his friend’s art on Tumblr, but then he saw Karl post a new tweet. He shrugged it off, thinking that it must’ve been for a new Tales of the SMP episode, but then he realized that he was usually in them. He quickly went over to his account, and sighed in relief when it wasn’t about SMP lore. But he was confused to say the least.</p><p>It was a link. To Tumblr. He didn’t know how Karl was able to hide his url in the link, but somehow he managed to do it. Ranboo clicked on it, expecting a rickroll of some kind. Except, it led him to a legitimate Tumblr account.</p><p>
  <strong>helpimstuckinbetween</strong>
</p>
<h5>WE’RE BACK IN THE FUTURE!</h5><p>
  <em>The REAL Karl Jacobs.<br/>
I TOLD YOU JESSICA-</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ranboo sat up once he scrolled down and found a familiar post. It was from Ram. More specifically, the post with Ranboo’s gift in it. He squinted his eyes as he started looking through Karl’s account. It was filled with Ram’s art, and there was even a reblog of them talking about eating the rich. He scrolled and scrolled, and suddenly he was back to the very first post that Karl created.</p><p><strong>helpimstuckinbetween</strong><br/>
<strong>@raminasweater</strong> is my best friend :DD</p><p>‘What?’ Ranboo thought to himself. Ram was HIS best friend…and MAYBE that piece of information wasn’t that well-known since he was only seen interacting with Ram through art commissions and reblogs, but he was an active friend of Ram’s in Tumblr and Discord dms. And now Karl just strolls in and proclaims himself as such? Oh please! He knew Ram much longer than he did.</p><p>He went on to his Twitter account, quickly typing something and posting it. He turned his phone off and headed over to his gaming chair. He put on his headset; computer monitors already on.</p><p>Okay, maybe he was overreacting. But Ram was HIS best friend. Well, more like Tumblr mutual best friend- but let’s ignore that for now. If Karl believed that Ram was his best friend, then Ranboo would have to take a step forward and correct him. After all, he’s a Tumblr native.<br/>
<strong>And Tumblr natives don’t back down.</strong></p><p>He starts the stream, his face cam on. He stares at the camera, and although his face is covered, everyone felt the fiery determination and smugness from Ranboo. He opens his mouth.</p><p>“Chat, we have a problem.”</p><p><strong>@Ranboosaysstuff</strong><br/>
<strong>@KarlJacobs_</strong> This means war.<br/>
[A screenshot of Karl’s first post on Tumblr.]<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@tommyinnit</strong><br/>
<strong>@dream</strong> the incident?<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@dream</strong><br/>
All over again.<br/>
|<br/>
<strong>@stampylongnose</strong><br/>
I just want to spend Valentine’s Day with my wife, damn it.<br/>
--------------------------------------------------------<br/>
11:24 AM · Feb 7, 2021 ·Twitter Web App<br/>
8.4K Retweets 56 Quote Tweets 141.2K Likes<br/>
------------------------------------------------------------</p><p>“What’s wrong, Tommy?” The teen looked up from his phone and faced his friend, shaking his head. “Nothing.” He shoved his phone into his backpack and slung it over his arm. “Come on Tommy, tell meee.” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Eryn.” Eryn frowned. “Rude.”</p><p>“I broke your phone with a basketball, you should’ve expected that from me.” Stoplight. “And last I remember, you promised that you wouldn’t ask me to be your valentine-“<br/>
Eryn cut him off. “IF Badlinu accepted my confession.” Eryn pretended to wipe a tear away from his face. “Then, I was heavily rejected.” Tommy groaned. “Rejected my ass- you knew that he already had a valentine. You could’ve just told me that you failed at getting your so-called ‘special someone’ and we’d still do the same thing every February 14.” They walked across the street.</p><p>“You’re basically farming clout, man.” Eryn clicked his tongue while shooting finger-guns at Tommy. “Exactly.” Tommy rolled his eyes, but a smile was evident on his face. “We’re going to McDonalds, right?” He asked. Eryn nodded. “Yeah.” Tommy smirked. “After this, let’s fuck around in the park.” Eryn grinned. “That’s more like it! Let’s go!” He quickly took ahold of Tommy’s arm and dragged him through the small crowds.</p><p>Despite the quarantine laws being enforced, Tommy was lucky enough that Hampshire only had at least 4 or 5 cases. Eryn was smart enough to use his bike instead of a car to arrive at Tommy’s house (He didn’t want to explain to the authorities why a kid like him was on a bicycle to pick up his friend for a platonic Valentines hang-out), and he even brought two face shields just in case. Right now, they only had their masks on.</p><p>They were finally at the park. “What’s it like?” Tommy looked up from the bench he was sitting on. “Hm?” He hummed. Eryn kicked a small pile of snow. “Living with them.” Tommy shrugged lightly. “Nice. They’re awesome.” “Oh.” They relaxed, a comfortable silence surrounding them. “You’re being treated good, right?” Tommy snorted. “What kind of question is that?”</p><p>Eryn chuckled, but to his surprise Tommy answered. “Yeah. Like family.” Eryn grinned. “Family? When did you become so sappy?” Tommy groaned, punching Eryn’s shoulder lightly. “You’re such a bitch, Eryn.” Eryn cackled. “Oh? I’m the bitch now?”</p><p>They laughed, Eryn sitting next to Tommy on the bench. No one was with them inside the park, besides the occasional stray or bird. There was a couple who walked past them though, and they looked oddly familiar. They were out of sight once they turned a corner though, so they both let it go.</p><p>“It’s scary, innit? Being away from family.” Tommy nodded. “Yeah, but you’d get used to it after a while.” Eryn raised a brow. “Is that so?” The blonde teen sent Eryn a knowing look. “Fine, I’ll back off.” Silence.</p><p>“You’ve packed some of your shit, right?” Eryn nodded. “Yeah, thanks for letting me use the spare room in your house.” Tommy scoffed. “Please. We have like, six or seven empty rooms. We just throw our shit in there without a care.” Eryn laughed. “Really?” Tommy grunted. “Had to go through five rooms so I could finally find my Nintendo switch.”</p><p>“Sucks to suck, I guess.” Tommy raised a brow. “Hey, Eryn. You do know that you getting into the dynamic is inevitable, right?” Eryn snorted. “As if! You’re just exaggerating…” He faltered under Tommy’s serious gaze. He gulped as Tommy smirked. “Who’s exaggerating now?” Eryn looked to the side, ignoring Tommy’s previous statement. “I’ll be placing my stuff next week. It’ll be there until I can get a new apartment.” Eryn turned around to face Tommy and grinned.</p><p>“It’ll be nice to get to know the Vaulters, hm?”</p><p>“As if, you just miss having big man TommyInnit around-“</p><p>“Tommy.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p>
<hr/><p>Now, Stampy was by all means, a very <em>patient</em> man.</p><p>But the Vaulters were REALLY pushing their luck today. Every other special occasion seemed to be a perfect time for them to mess with Stampy in a way. The question was: How?</p><p>Were they going to ruin his date with Bethany? Did they replace all the flowers in his garden again? Did they hide his parrots in their Minecraft world? So many questions, yet little to none of them were answered.</p><p>“Joseph, you okay?” Stampy shook his head and smiled at his lover. “Nothing, nothing. Let’s go visit that bakery you like, hm?” Sqaishey grinned. “I’m buying all their coffee beans.” Stampy’s eyes widened, concern on his face. “Please don’t, my bank account’s been suffering these past few weeks-“<br/>
Bethany cut him off with a laugh. “I’m just joking! Sheesh, <em>‘Stampycat.’</em> What did those kids do to you?” He knew what they meant. “Make me lose 3 hours of sleep.” Sqaishey chuckled.</p><p>“Now I see where Schlatt got it from.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean!?”</p><p>They entered the small bakery, the bell ringing when the door was pushed open. The windows were decorated with small hearts, and it was the same for the space inside. Hanging hearts, heart-themed food and workers dressed in either red or pink…</p><p>Stampy hated it.</p><p>But it was worth it, for Bethany. Speaking of her…they were in front of the counter, getting out Stampy’s wallet. Wait, what? Stampy checked his pockets, and sure enough, his wallet wasn’t there. Once Beth finished their order, Stampy raised his brow. “And now I can see where Tommy got his quirks.” Beth’s face flushed, embarrassed. “Shut up, it’s only fair!” Stampy lightly chuckled. “You good man?” Stampy looked to his right, and his mouth went agape. Bethany raised a brow. “Joseph? You okay-“</p><p>Once they turned their head, her mouth formed an ‘o’ shape. Sqaishey winced. Schlatt was two tables away from them, and he was rolling his eyes. “No.” The employee beside him shrugged. “Sucks…I guess.” They watched as Schlatt glared, opening his mouth, and saying something inaudible. They also watched as the other smirked, talking back before walking away.</p><p>Schlatt’s face was scrunched up in a mix of anger and frustration. He looked back at his phone. “Is that..?” Sqaishey trailed off. Meanwhile, Stampy gulped. Was this a part of whatever scheme they were going to do? Stalk him on his date? Or maybe this was just a way to distract him-</p><p>“STAMPY!” Sqaishey shouted, drawing attention. Surprisingly enough, it didn’t get Schlatt’s. He was muttering to himself, eyes wide at his phone. “Sorry, sorry…” Stampy looked back at Beth, seeing her apologize for shouting so loud. They turned to Stampy, a concerned look on her face. “Are you okay?” They placed her hand on his, and Stampy blushed. “I’m g-good. Just…didn’t expect for Schlatt to be here, y’know?” Beth gave him an unimpressed look. “This is the same bakery Schlatt went to during the Brighton meet-up, remember?” ‘Oh.’ Stampy thought. “That…actually makes more sense.” At this, Sqaishey laughed, Stampy blushing in embarrassment. “What- what did you think he was here for?”</p><p>“I actually thought…he was going to mess with me or something. Like every other special day. A Vaulters thing.” Beth raised a brow. “I doubt they’d do it during Valentines, of all days. They know what this day means to us. Him especially.” “Schlatt?”</p><p>Sqaishey shook her head. “Ah. Yeah, he probably knows enough to tell the other Vaulters.” Beth smiled. “Have a little faith in them, hm?” Stampy tightened his grip on her hand. “I’ll try.” Beth grinned. “That’s more like it!” Stampy huffed. “Look, Joseph.”</p><p>“Although they don’t have that much…common sense,” Stampy snorted at that. “They have enough to not mess with us. Right now, it’s just me, you and uhm…I guess Schlatt but he’s just a last minute add-in. What I’m trying to say here, is that relax for a bit, okay?” Stampy nodded. “What would I do without you?” Beth gave him an unimpressed look. “Drink vodka in the middle of the night, I guess.”<br/>
At that, Stampy blushed.</p><p>2 hours later, they found themselves strolling around an empty park. They were chatting with each other, a few laughs shared with each step they took. In the distance, Stampy made out two figures who seemed to be sitting on a bench. He ignored them though and focused on his “argument” with Beth about cake.</p><p>“You can’t tell me that cake with peanuts don’t taste good, Beth.” The woman rolled her eyes. “They don’t, Joseph Garrett.” “The full-name basis won’t work on me…!”<br/>
Stampy trailed off, staring at the two people on the bench. Once they passed, he turned his head, still staring. Sqaishey raised a brow. “Stampy? Are you okay?” The man in question stopped once they were by the exit of the park. “I think…I think I just saw Tommy.” Bethany perked up and began looking around. “Really? Where?” Stampy ignored her in favor of freaking out instead.</p><p>‘Seeing Schlatt inside the bakery, is something I can understand…but Tommy in the same park? That- that can’t be a coincidence. They’re either planning something big, or they’re trying to mess with me instead…or did they already mess with me? Wait, I’m rambling again…but inside my head? Does that count as rambling-‘</p><p>“JOSEPH!” He gasped, and in front of him was Beth, a worried look on her face. “Huh?” Sqaishey sighed, before a small smile was on her face. “You know what? Let’s- let’s go home.” His eyes widened in shock and concern. “Why? Are you tired? You should’ve told me awhile ago. We still haven’t had lunch yet though. We could get some right now, or do you want take-out? Wait, take-out’s a bit risky, especially with the quarantine thing going around-“</p><p>“Stampy, let me speak.” He shut his mouth. “I just want to go home and eat some lunch there instead. If you want, we could play some Minecraft, or visit the Vaulters to check out how they’re doing.” Stampy’s posture seemed to relax, and that was when Sqaishey realized that he was tense. They lightly chuckled. “Those kids could really give you a run for their money, huh?” Surprisingly, Stampy smiled and nodded.</p><p>“They might as well be my family.”</p><p>Sqaishey grinned.</p><p>
  <em>“You guys already are.”</em>
</p><p>The walk home was silent, Stampy spacing out most of the time. They were right in front of the Vaulters’ house now and were about to cross the street to theirs when they heard the sound of someone running. They looked to their right. “Oh, hey.” Dia greeted.</p><p>Stampy sighed before raising a hand. “Hi.” Dia grinned. “How’d the date go?” Sqaishey gave them a tired grin. “Oh you know, Garrett here getting paranoid.” Dia raised a brow. “How?”</p><p>“We <em>coincidentally</em>,” Sqaishey emphasized, “saw Schlatt in the same bakery we went to. AND passed by Tommy and his friend…Erit?” “Eryn.”<br/>
“Eryn. Sitting on a bench in the park.” Dia laughed. “I can see why he got paranoid. Schlatt I can understand, but Tommy’s too much of a little bitch boy to NOT mess with you guys.” At that, Stampy paled. “But I doubt he’d do it on Valentines of all days, of course!” Dia quickly added on. “I would probably threaten to cut off the wifi.”</p><p>Sqaishey chuckled. “It’s the great TommyInnit’s weakness, hm?” Dia grinned. “Yeah. Also…” They opened the door to the house. “…I don’t think Schlatt would mind if I let you guys stay the night.” Sqaishey raised a brow. “He’s not here?” Dia shrugged. “I don’t know. Something about a break from all the shit we’ve been doing. He’s going to stay somewhere else for the night, a friend’s newly bought house or something. He’ll come back tomorrow though.”</p><p>Sqaishey nodded. “Good to know, and uhm…” She gestured to Stampy, who seemed to be out of it. “Mind helping me out?” Dia snorted, already guiding Stampy and Squaishey inside. “Okay, mum.” Beth rolled her eyes. “More like auntie. Schlatt fits the mom AND dad role well already.”</p><p>“Isn’t Stampy Schlatt’s ‘dad’ though?”</p><p>“I’m just 24 years old. Still young.”</p><p>Dia laughed, setting Stampy down on the couch in the living room. “Okay then, Aunt Beth!” Sqaishey grinned. “See? It sounds cool, like one of those cool aunts.” Dia huffed. “You really are Stampycat’s wife, huh?” Beth looked at them with an offended look, crossing her arms. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Cool aunt, cool uncle. Stampy here thought he was the cool uncle, when in reality he was the funny one.” Beth laughed. “I can see that… what about me though?” Dia looked to the side, pretending to be deep in thought before looking back and smirking. “I suppose we could adjust.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Hey.”</p><p>“Welcome back, Tommy.”</p><p>The said teen looked around the living room before his eyes settled on the figure on the couch. Eryn was with him, peeking from behind his shoulder. “The fuck is Uncle Stampy doing here?” Tommy asked. “Resting.” Someone said from the stairs. It was Sqaishey.</p><p>“Huh.” Eryn muttered. “Eryn! Nice to see you again!” Eryn waved at Dia who was peeking out from the kitchen. “Hullo.” Tommy scoffed. “Really? Hullo?” Eryn shrugged, sitting down on one of the chairs. “Where’s Dream?” “In his room.”</p><p>“I think he was watching Voltron?” Tommy rolled his eyes. “Of course. He’s still not over by Keith and Lance, isn’t he?” Dia shook their head, chuckling. “Yeah. But I’ve got to say: he’s <em>dedicated</em>.” Tommy looked to the side and said something akin to “Dedicated my ass- “before looking back at Dia.<br/>
“That dedication would be REAL useful during his ‘Try Not to Get Caught by the Cops Challenge’ then.” Eryn laughed. “That’s- that’s a real thing?” Sqaishey finally left her spot on the stairs, now sitting down on one of the stools near the counter. “You’d be surprised to see how many challenges Dream made up.”</p><p>“True.” Dia and Tommy both said simultaneously, surprising Eryn. “Pretty sure he’s asleep, though. When I got to his room, he was already on Season 6.” Tommy’s eyes widened. “Huh. REALLY dedicated then.” He headed upstairs, Eryn following closely. “We’ll be playing Minecraft then!” “Okay!”</p><p>Silence.</p><p>“…you ever wonder what Schlatt’s doing right now?” Dia asked out of nowhere. “Not really, why?” Dia shrugged. “Not really him to decide to stay over someone’s place for a while, I guess. Maybe a really, really close friend?” Beth grinned. “Pretty sure he’s only out because of you guys, as you said.” Dia scoffed. “Schlatt’s a guy with ulterior motives! It’s hard to see past that.”</p><p>“Well, you should start now.” Dia hummed. “Nah, I like poking into other people’s business.” Sqaishey raised a brow. “I can see that.” Dia laughed. “I’m just like that, you know?”</p><p>“Still. I think it’s bets that you don’t bug him about it.”</p><p>“Don’t worry, don’t worry! I won’t bug him…maybe.”</p><p>“Who’s bugging who?”</p><p>The two turned their heads to Stampy, who was sat up, rubbing his eyes. He yawned. “What happened?” Sqaishey shook her head fondly, before patting Stampy’s back. “You passed out on the couch since you were too stressed out (“And paranoid.”). We’re in the Vaulters’ house.”</p><p>“…there should really be a time where you guys visit our house instead.” Dia laughed. “With the number of times you guys have been here, I’d say this IS your house.” Stampy groaned. “Not helping.” Dia only shrugged him off, pulling out their phone from their pocket. “It wasn’t really my intention to help you, anyways. So, sucks to suck.”</p><p>Sqaishey chuckled. “When did you get sassy?” Dia snorted. “Blame Schlatt for that one. He even made me watch Downtown Abbey.” Stampy grinned. “Downtown Abbey?” Dia nodded. “Yeah, but don’t expect anything from me. I’m only there for the conflict.” Stampy’s grin turned into a frown, as he stared at Dia with a deadpanned look. “Of course you are.”</p><p>“Anyways!” Sqaishey exclaimed, trying to remove the awkward atmosphere. “Are you okay with staying over here for the night?” Stampy sent her a knowing look. “Like what Dia said, this is basically our house too.” Beth laughed. ‘Well! We’ll stay at the guest room if that’s alright?” Dia hummed.</p><p>“I’ll just get my stuff back at our house.” Dia raised a brow. “Which are...?” Stampy grinned. “Just some boring stuff. Like, pens, papers…”</p><p>Beth sent him a pointed look. “And?” Stampy sweatdropped. “Uhm…”</p><p>Sqaishey sighed. “I swear, Stampy, if you’re just getting your vodka bottles again…”</p><p> </p><p>Dia groaned loudly. “You are NOT getting your stacks of vodka in this house EVER again.” Stampy scoffed. “It’s not like I’m going to get drunk!” He turned to Beth for support, but they only looked away, whistling. “You know, Garrett, this wall seems REALLY interesting right now. It’s so blank, it’s cool to the eyes…”</p><p>Dia snorted. “Got betrayed by your own wife.” He sighed. “I was betrayed by my own wife.” Dia smirked. “Damn right you were.” Stampy huffed. “Look, I don’t know what the big deal is!”</p><p>Dia scoffed. “You only drink whenever we do something stupid. Guess what? We don’t have the mental capacity do ANYTHING at all.” Stampy raised a brow. “Really…?” Dia rolled their eyes.<br/>
“Yes, DAD! We CAN’T do anything!”</p><p>“But it doesn’t mean you WON’T!”</p><p>“BUT WE CAN’T.”</p><p>“Fuck everything, I’ll just get some vodka in Schlatt’s fridge. He probably won’t mind-“</p><p>“Oh my god.”</p><p>“It’s just ONE bottle-“</p><p>“NO!”</p><p>“OKAY, OKAY. FINE!”</p>
<hr/><p>It was four pm.</p><p>Schlatt knew better than to wander around like a dumb bitch…basically like everyone else in the airport. He believed that if you were going to sit around for 5 agonizing minutes just to WAIT for something or someone, at least do it with <em>style</em>.</p><p>So here he was with his own booth, 5 people in line waiting for their commissions to be made.<br/>
He didn’t know if what he was doing was illegal (It probably was), but the guards didn’t stop him from carrying a suspicious looking 7 feet tall “item” on wheels that was covered by a black tarp. Needless to say, he got a LOT of attention.</p><p>Thankfully, it wasn’t negative.</p><p>“Hey, you look familiar…” Schlatt paused from drawing his signature on the piece of paper. “Yeah…?” The man in front of him looked deep in thought. “Yeah…like, a guy from YouTube?” Schlatt’s breath hitched. Did the guy recognize him? He was in a fucking sweater, and he already had a mask and face shield on. Unless he recognized him by his eyes? Okay, so this guy must be a creep if he only recognized him by his EYES of all things.</p><p>Then again, it was still possible for someone to get recognized by their eyes. Schlatt should know. I mean, he was friends with Dream. Someone who recognized anyone from the color of their hair to the shape of their hands.</p><p>“…eh. Must be my brain shutting off on me again. Sorry dude.”</p><p>Schlatt released a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “It’s n-no problem, man.” He handed him the artwork; the ink used for his signature still fresh. The man gaped at the piece of paper. Schlatt gulped. Was there a smudge? Did he use the wrong color pallet? Did he even draw the right character?</p><p>“Ram, was it…?” The man trailed off, his eyes blown wide. “Y-yes?” He stuttered out. “This is AMAZING!” The man exclaimed, grabbing attention. Everyone within a 5-mile radius turned to look at him, some whispering to each other. Schlatt sunk low into his chair. “This is fully colored, shaded…heck! This is better than a two-hundred-dollar commission!”</p><p>The artist blushed at the praise, laughing awkwardly. “Thanks, but I don’t think I’m that great. Like, you don’t have to exaggerate-“</p><p>“Is that Adora?” A girl from behind asked. “Her flowing hair SPEAKS to me. Even in paper.” Someone snorted. “Her hair can speak through ANYTHING and ANYONE.” “True.”</p><p>People began surrounding the man with the artwork, leaving one girl in the line. She walked over to the front of the booth before asking, “How much for a drawing of my friend’s persona?” Schlatt shrugged. “You have a reference?” She took out her phone, taking her time. She eventually flipped it over to show to Schlatt.</p><p>“You want me to draw…that?” Schlatt said, eyes squinted. The girl blushed, embarrassed. “Uhm, yeah. I drew it for them, but uh, I wanted to get a colored one for their birthday. It’s long passed though, but I thought that I should still get something else.” Schlatt nodded, getting out a piece of paper and some drawing utensils. “You get to pay me only one dollar because the persona looks funny.”</p><p>“You sure?”</p><p>“Look woman, it’s not everyday I get to draw someone in an amazon box.”</p><p>“Oh.” She took something out from her bag, presumably her wallet, and handed her pay. “It’ll be finished, 10 minutes tops. You waiting for a plane?” The girl shook her head. “I’m only waiting for my sister though. We just passed by the airport for some food.” Schlatt hummed, getting to work.</p><p>In the middle of his art process, he heard the squeak of a chair before someone sat down. If he bothered to look up at all, he would find his friend right next to him, and the girl gaping at him with wide eyes. After a few minutes, he sat up straight before stretching his legs and arms. “Hey.” The girl scurried over.</p><p>“Am I supposed to put a name or…?”</p><p>“Nic.”</p><p>“Nic?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“Cool.” He placed down his signature. Sliding the paper to the front of the booth, he grinned. “It was nice drawing something new, kid.” She took the drawing and smiled. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Here’s your phone back too.” Quickly snatching it away from Schlatt’s hold, she sighed in relief when she saw nothing out of the ordinary. “What’s your name?” Schlatt snorted. “Bit rude to ask for my name when you won’t tell me yours, kid.” The girl awkwardly laughed.</p><p>“Uh, right. Uhm…Katt.”</p><p>“Well, Katt, my name is Ram.” Her eyes widened. “Ram? Like, the real Ram?” Schlatt nodded slowly. “Never really thought someone would know me.” She raised a brow. “You were trending.” Schlatt perked up. “What?”<br/>
She smirked, and quickly shook her head. “Never mind. Can I take a picture of you?” Schlatt coughed, trying to get out of the weird situation. “Uhm, sure?”</p><p>
  <em>Snap</em>
</p><p>Schlatt’s mouth was formed in an ‘o’ shape. “Oh. I thought you weren’t serious.” It was the Katt’s turn to raise a brow. “Why? Do you want me to delete it or…?” Schlatt shook his head. “Nah. It’s fine.” He smiled. “And great art, Katt. You know, I could use some help in making drawings, maybe merch stickers and all.” “Yes.”</p><p>His eyes widened in surprise. “I haven’t said anything yet, but sure.” He yawned. “Won’t you need my number? Any form of contact?” Schlatt waved her off nonchalantly. “I’ll figure it out, Katt.” He grinned.</p><p>Katt waved goodbye, before walking away. Schlatt yawned once more, resting his head on the booth table. Thankfully, no one else was in line. Probably had their flights called. “You’re not going to get me a ride?”</p><p>Schlatt scoffed, his voice muffled by the fabric of his sweater. “You watched me draw all day, or well- night. I don’t think I owe you a drive home anymore.” His friend hummed. “Then coming here would be a waste, hm?” Schlatt rolled his eyes. He raised his head to stare at the person sat right next to him. “Not really. I got 80 bucks from this, with an extra dollar, AND a new artist by my side, so suck it, elf boy.”</p><p>He chuckled. “When did I become an elf?”</p><p>“Because I said so.”</p><p>“That doesn’t make sense.”</p><p>“It shouldn’t.”</p><p>“Huh.”</p><p>Schlatt sighed, before standing up and covering his booth with the black tarp left on the floor. ‘Help me out, will ya?” Cooper stood up, walking to the left side of the booth.<br/>
“How is this going to fit in your car?”</p><p>“It’s foldable, elf boy.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“…”</p><p>“…why did we turn silent?”</p><p>“I don’t know. Why do you keep on calling me elf boy?”</p><p>“I don’t know either.”</p><p>“Sucks to suck I guess.”</p><p>“Shut up Cooper.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I LOVE YOU THUNDER-/p<br/>HAVE OUR DISCORD SERVER: https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Fishboy are you okay?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cooper is tired. Understandably so.<br/>Why can't Tommy understand that he's not here to cause chaos?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tommy suddenly didn't feel safe in the house anymore. For some reason.</p>
<p>He was scared.</p>
<p>Not for him, no. He's too much of a big man for that. He was scared for them. His family. The Vaulters. Tommy sighed. Whatever. They could deal with it later instead.</p>
<p>The sun shines brightly through the blinds. He sits up, yawning every once in a awhile. He yawns, taking note of the time on his clock. It was eight am. A bit early. Tommy grinned before fully standing up. He stretches for a few times before walking over top his closet to get something to wear. Which isn't much, considering that he only has similar shirts, just not in the same color. </p>
<p>A piece of paper falls out of the closet, gaining Tommy's attention. It was crumpled, as it should be. He uncrumples it, taking a look before rolling his eyes. It was a classic joke to leave pieces of paper lying about the house. It was a... "tradition" started by Dream when he accidentally left his receipt for fingerless gloves at Stampy's place. Needless to say, everyone got a good laugh out of that one. </p>
<p>Tommy winced. Well, no one got a good laugh when they found a piece of paper in Schlatt's room, written on it was an order for some multiple guns.</p>
<p>He walked downstairs, the piece of paper now in his pocket. He spotted Dream by the couch...still watching Voltron. "Hey, Clay." Dream turned to look at him, a brow raised. "So we're in real name basis now, huh?" Tommy snorted. "What's taht supposed to mean?" Dream crossed his arms. "You never call me by my real name. Just Dream." Tommy pouts. "No I don't." "Yes you do."</p>
<p>Tommy sighs dramatically. "Look, you left a piece of paper in my closet." Dream squints his eyes. "Really?" He asks, drawling out the 'y.' Tommy shurgs. Fair enough for Dream to get suspicious of him. "Look man. Here you go." He takes out the piece of paper from his pocket and hands it to Dream. Dream reluctantly grabs it from his hands. Tommy smirks. "Bye!" He zooms out of the living room, and heads to the kitchen. Dream stares after him for a while before gulping. He looks at the piece of paper in his hands before doing the sign of the cross. He hesitantly opens the piece of paper, ready to face whatever scary thing that's on it, or some form of humiliation that could strike his pride. He closes his eyes, smoothing the paper with his hands. He slowly opens one eye, before gasping.</p>
<p>Then, he just suqints his eyes. He shoutes after Tommy. "THIS IS MORSE CODE, ASSHOLE!" "I KNOW!" He pouts before tkaing out his phone, snapping a picture of the piece of paper. He sends it to Schlatt, despite the fact that they were both living in the same house right now. He waits for a few seconds before Schlatt replies back.</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>bruv.<br/>.-- . .----. .-. . / -. --- / ... - .-. .- -. --. . .-. ... / - --- / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / .-. ..- .-.. . ... / .- -. -.. / ... --- / -.. --- / .. / .- / ..-. ..- .-.. .-.. / -.-. --- -- -- .. - -- . -. - .----. ... / .-- .... .- - / .. .----. -- / - .... .. -. -.- .. -. --. / --- ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .-- --- ..- .-.. -.. -. .----. - / --. . - / - .... .. ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / .- -. -.-- / --- - .... . .-. / --. ..- -.-- / .. / .--- ..- ... - / .-- .- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / -.-- --- ..- / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / --. --- - - .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .----. ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / . .- -.-. .... / --- - .... . .-. / ..-. --- .-. / ... --- / .-.. --- -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .- .-. - .----. ... / -... . . -. / .- -.-. .... .. -. --. / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / ... .... -.-- / - --- / ... .- -.-- / .. - / .. -. ... .. -.. . / .-- . / -... --- - .... / -.- -. --- .-- / .-- .... .- - .----. ... / -... . . -. / --. --- .. -. --. / --- -. / .-- . / -.- -. --- .-- / - .... . / --. .- -- . / .- -. -.. / .-- . .----. .-. . / --. --- -. -. .- / .--. .-.. .- -.-- / .. - / .- -. -.. / .. ..-. / -.-- --- ..- / .- ... -.- / -- . / .... --- .-- / .. .----. -- / ..-. . . .-.. .. -. --. / -.. --- -. .----. - / - . .-.. .-.. / -- . / -.-- --- ..- .----. .-. . / - --- --- / -... .-.. .. -. -.. / - --- / ... . . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. .-.. .-.. / -. . ...- . .-. / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. --..-- / . ...- . .-. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .-- . .----. ...- . / -.- -. --- .-- -. / . .- -.-. .... / --- - .... . .-. / ..-. --- .-. / ... --- / .-.. --- -. --. / -.-- --- ..- .-. / .... . .- .-. - .----. ... / -... . . -. / .- -.-. .... .. -. --. / -... ..- - / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / -- .- -.- . / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .-. -.-- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / ... .- -.-- / --. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / - . .-.. .-.. / .- / .-.. .. . / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / --. .. ...- . / -.-- --- ..- / ..- .--. / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. -- / -. . ...- . .-. / --. --- -. -. .- / .-.. . - / -.-- --- ..- / -.. --- .-- -. / -. --- --..-- / .. .----. .-.. .-.. / -. . ...- . .-. / .-. ..- -. / .- .-. --- ..- -. -.. / .- -. -.. / .... ..- .-. - / -.-- --- ..- / .. .----. .-.. .-.. / -. . ...- . .-. --..-- / . ...- . .-. / -.. . ... . .-. - / -.-- --- ..-<br/>you're expecting me. to know what this means.</p>
<p><strong>kettle man</strong><br/>...yes</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>oh. <br/>lol i do know<br/>anyways-</p>
<p><strong>kettle man</strong><br/>???</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>you sure.</p>
<p><strong>kettle man</strong><br/>yes???<br/>WHAT DO YOU MEAN AM I SURE??</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>k</p>
<p><strong>kettle man</strong><br/>k???<br/>K???<br/>THAT'S ALL YOURE SAYING??<br/>YOURE LEAVING ME HERE<br/>WITH K<br/>WTF SCHLATT<br/>HEY<br/>I KNOW YOURE READINT THIS<br/>WTF<br/>SCHLATT.</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>We're no strangers to love<br/>You know the rules and so do I<br/>A full commitment's what I'm thinking of<br/>You wouldn't get this from any other guy<br/>I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling<br/>Gotta make you understand<br/>Never gonna give you up<br/>Never gonna let you down<br/>Never gonna run around and desert you<br/>Never gonna make you cry<br/>Never gonna say goodbye<br/>Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>We've known each other for so long<br/>Your heart's been aching but you're too shy to say it<br/>Inside we both know what's been going on<br/>We know the game and we're gonna play it<br/>And if you ask me how I'm feeling<br/>Don't tell me you're too blind to see<br/>Never gonna give you up<br/>Never gonna let you down<br/>Never gonna run around and desert you<br/>Never gonna make you cry<br/>Never gonna say goodbye<br/>Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you<br/>No, I'm never gonna give you up<br/>No, I'm never gonna let you down<br/>No, I'll never run around and hurt you<br/>Never, ever desert you</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>We've known each other for so long<br/>Your heart's been aching but<br/>Never gonna give you up<br/>Never gonna let you down<br/>Never gonna run around and desert you<br/>Never gonna make you cry<br/>Never gonna say goodbye</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you<br/>No, I'm never gonna give you up<br/>No, I'm never gonna let you down<br/>No, I'll never run around and hurt you<br/>I'll never, ever desert you</p>
<p><strong>tea kettle man</strong><br/>this is just. rick astley. rickroll.<br/>wait.</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>he rickrolled you</p>
<p><strong>tea kettle man</strong><br/>...<br/>FUCK</p>
<p><strong>i like your funny words ram man</strong><br/>lol loser</p>
<p><strong>tea kettle man</strong><br/>&gt;;((</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>haha. april fools. woot woot.<br/>procrastination sucks man. i had 100 words and decided to delete it all because it wasn't great enough for it to bring impact to the story. im gonna delete this dw lmaooo<br/>ha.<br/>discord go AHHHHHHHHHHHH: https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. It's An Episode of the Kardashians, Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Cooper meets SOME of the Vaulters family.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By all means, Cooper and Schlatt weren’t…<em>close</em>.</p><p>Sure, they were a part of SMPLive and Lunch Club (Which slowly ceased to exist due to some…controversies that both sides didn’t want to get into), they had similar friend groups (They tried to ignore how almost everyone had beef with each other), and they liked one similar thing: motion.</p><p>It didn’t matter what kind of motion. Motion in movement, motion in music…or in their case, motion in the wind whenever Cooper went out to skateboard. Motion in Schlatt’s animations whenever he finally found motivation, thank fuck. They both craved motion. And maybe, that’s why Cooper was in front of the airport in the first place.</p><p>They weren’t unaware, no- they were FAR from unaware when they realized their little group was falling into shambles. But Cooper was by far, the most aware out of all of them. Because he knew that they were taking sides. </p><p>What, he didn’t notice the way that Charlie started talking less and less to them, and distracted himself by playing games with those Minecraft guys? The way that Noah and Travis stopped posting a lot, and would stay up late at night to talk on Discord even if they lived under the same roof? Heck, even Josh, who rarely asked for collabs anymore.</p><p>So what? It was stressful. He couldn’t blame them. He would be a hypocrite after all. Spending more time on playing CSGO with other friends. Then, his thoughts drifted back to one member of the group who seemed to be the one who drifted away the most…yet at the same time-</p><p>Cooper was snapped out of his thoughts when he caught sight of Schlatt. It was a bit easy, considering that he was sitting behind his own booth, a line in front of him. <em>Yet at the same time, he didn’t drift at all.</em> A voice whispered in his head. Suddenly he was dragging a chair, placing it right beside Schlatt and sitting down. </p><p>He didn’t bother on trying to get Schlatt’s attention, seeing that he was heavily focused on the drawing before him. But now that he was able to see Schlatt in action with a pen…he realized he didn’t really “know” Schlatt. At least, not the same way the others did. </p><p>Is that why he impulsively called him in the middle of the night just to ask him permission to move in with him? He didn’t try to hide the surprise in his voice when he found out that no, Schlatt wasn’t in Texas with Mizkif anymore, but in Hampshire.</p><p>But that certainly didn’t stop him from buying a plane ticket and heading over to the UK. Now…now that he thought about it, it was a pretty bad idea. But he managed through the jetlag, and now he was here. That was all he cared about.</p><p>He blinked once, then twice when he heard the snap of a phone. He covered his face with his hands, a bit overwhelmed with the loud chatter and bright lights. He turned to look at Schlatt, only to see him slumped down and resting his head on the table.</p><p>They had some small talk, a few jokes here and there, and then they were in a car. Schlatt was at the front, Cooper sitting at the back. The booth was folded and put inside the trunk with the rest of Cooper’s luggage. “Didn’t know you could drive.” The words left his mouth before he could even comprehend them. His eyes widened, about to say some lame excuse before Schlatt chuckled.</p><p>“Yes, oh mighty Cooper Cscoop, I can do something else besides being.” He paused to think. “A fuck-up.” Cooper winced at that but laughed anyways. He made eye contact with Schlatt through the rearview mirror, and for some reason, a sense of nostalgia went through him.</p><p>“How are you doing, Cscoop?” The question caught him off-guard. “Uhm, nice, I guess. Been focusing on my channel and all that.” Schlatt grinned. “Yeah, I saw. Got merch now, huh?” Cooper gave him a small smile. “Yep.” The car halted to a stop. A traffic light was the cause. Schlatt turned around to face Cooper.</p><p>“Sick designs, by the way. They’re great.” Cooper raised a brow. “Really?” Schlatt cackled. “Yeah, and you better feel proud of yourself since it’s coming from me.” He smirked. “It also came from my family.” Cooper perked up at that. “Family?” Last he remembered, Schlatt…didn’t like talking about his family. At all.</p><p>The group respected his decisions of course, but once in a blue moon, he would mention them. With the (very few) input that he got from the man, Cooper was able to deduce that his family life…wasn’t really great. “I’m talking about some friends of mine, not my blood fa- you know what I mean.” Did he say that out loud? “Yes, you did. Asshole. Jesus christ, you’re worse than D- Clay.”</p><p>Cooper noticed the little slip-up but didn’t comment further. Which he was thankful for doing so because the light turned green. Schlatt hit the gas, and they were off once more. The conversation moved from pets, to friends, to their channels, and then to Cooper’s stupidity.</p><p>…okay, maybe he didn’t really appreciate the aftermath of things. But it was better than Schlatt refusing to talk to him for the rest of the ride.</p><p>“We’re here.” They got out of the car, Schlatt focused on retrieving Cooper’s stuff. “Hey Schlatt?” The man hummed. “Your house is big.” Schlatt cackled. “Wait till’ you see the one in South Yorkshire.” “What-?” He pushed past Cooper, ignoring his confused expression.</p><p>He finally got to the trunk, opening it and smiling when he didn’t find anything out of order. He grabbed the luggage, which was mainly just a two duffel bags and a suitcase. He closed the trunk, placing the bags on the ground before sticking a hand into his pocket. He retracted his hand and turned to Cooper.</p><p>“CATCH, ELF BOY!”<br/>
“What the f- “</p><p>A set of keys suddenly hit him in the face, causing him to cry out in pain. “Shit!” Schlatt’s eyes widened in shock. “Ah f- are you okay?” Cooper waved him away when he tried to get closer. “I’ll be fine- I’ll be fine.” </p><p>Schlatt lightly chuckled. “You catch stuff with your hands, man! Not your fucking eye!” Cooper groaned. “I know that!” Schlatt raised a brow. “It didn’t look like it when you whined like a baby.”</p><p>Cooper didn’t talk back and gave him the finger instead. Schlatt laughed harder. He went back to Cooper’s stuff to carry them all by himself. Cooper meanwhile, grabbed the keys (which fell to the ground) and tried to find the right one to open the door to the house.</p><p>After multiple tries, he got to a black key with the letter H engraved into it. Fortunately, it was the last one, and the door was open in no time.</p><p>“Move over, Cscoop.” Schlatt suddenly pushed past him, effortlessly carrying all of his bags. “Hey, don’t you need any help with that- “He quickly shut his mouth when Schlatt entered the house, going upstairs. “…okay.” He went inside, closing the door behind him.</p><p>He took in the sight of the house, from the very comfy-looking couch and probably expensive chandelier. He hummed a small tune, going over to the couch and finding the remote. He opened the TV. “Enjoying yourself?” He jumped in surprise. </p><p>It was just Schlatt. Fortunately.</p><p>“What the hell, man?” Cooper sighed. “You need to stop freaking me out.” Schlatt shrugged. “You just got to deal with it now. You’re living with ME.” He stepped into the kitchen, heading straight for the fridge. “…how many houses do you have?” Cooper finally asked.</p><p>Schlatt turned around to look at him dead in the eye. “I don’t know.” He said in the most monotone voice he could muster. “What?” Schlatt shrugged. “I don’t know.” He went back to looking through the contents of the fridge. “Wait.” Cooper was really confused now. “<em>What?</em>”</p><p>“<em>Why’s my vodka gone-</em> I don’t know. Jesus, Cooper! Don’t make me repeat everything I say!” Schlatt shut the fridge door. “Though, you could ask Gep.” Cooper raised a brow. “Gep.” Schlatt slowly nodded. “Okay, let me ask- who the fuck is Gep?” “That would be me.”</p><p>“Gep,” or rather Dia, was leaning against the couch. Cooper took a step back in surprise. “Hey, what happened to my vodka?” Schlatt asked to break the silence. “Stampy. Something about being stressed out today? I mean, I would be suspicious too if I saw you in the same place. But if I saw bitch boy, I would full-on panic.”</p><p>Before Cooper could ask who bitch boy was (And why he was a bitch in the first place), Schlatt crossed his arms. “Stop throwing shade at Tommy.” Then, he grinned. “Do it while he’s here.” Dia clicked their tongue and finger guns Schlatt in the process. “Gotcha.” </p><p>“Anyways, it’s three am. Who the fuck is this guy?” Dia asked, pointing at Cooper. “Uh, Cooper. Schlatt’s…friend.” Dia looked at him for 10, long, agonizing seconds before smirking. They offered him a hand. “Nice meeting you, Cooper. Name’s- <em>We’re out of kool-aid</em>. But most people call me- <em> WHO THE FUCK PUT THE MUFFINS IN THE FREEZER.</em>” </p><p>Cooper reluctantly shook their hand. “Well, I don’t mind being called Cscoop I guess.” Dia’s smirk was replaced with an amused grin. “Where did Cscoop come from?” Cooper shrugged.</p><p>“Oh my god.” The two acquaintances looked over at Schlatt. “The muffins are fucking cold now.” Dia laughed. “Sucks to suck I guess.” Schlatt glared at them, grabbing a muffin and biting it slowly. He waited before he gulped it down, pointing at Dia who had a smug look on their face. “You’re the bane of my existence.” </p><p>“How would you know? We barely interact.”</p><p>“Wh- we literally live in the same fucking house.”</p><p>“Online.”</p><p>“You…okay fair enough.”</p><p>“Anyways, Schlatt, I found an egg in my room.”</p><p>“A- a fucking what.”</p><p>“Egg.”</p><p>“Are you- are you high?”</p><p>…Cooper was really regretting his decision right now.</p>
<hr/><p>Tommy didn’t know what to expect when he got into the living room. </p><p>He certainly didn’t expect a fucking stranger sleeping on the couch. So, what was the most logical thing to do? That was the first thing that Tommy asked himself. Well, it was kind of simple.</p><p>Get a baseball bat, then bash his brains out. Clean the blood, get rid of ALL evidence, and then dispose the body by using it as fertilizer for Stampy’s garden. Yeah. It was an AWESOME idea.</p><p>So here he was, Thomas Simons, holding up a baseball bat, seconds away from committing first degree murder. John Wick would’ve been so proud of him. Keyword: would’ve been. If it weren’t for Schlatt suddenly grabbing his weapon of choice and handing it over to Dia who was looking at their phone.</p><p>It was in that moment that he realized that Schlatt was also on the couch. Did he even have any self-preservation skills left? ‘<em>Or he could just be an idiot</em>.’ His mind supplied. Ah. That was probably most reasonable.</p><p>He gave Schlatt a deadpanned look. “Bruh.” Schlatt rolled his eyes. “So, what brought you to suddenly commit a crime?” Tommy raised a brow. “There is a literal stranger in OUR house sleeping on OUR couch.” Schlatt turned to look at Dia, who in turn looked back. They both smirked and looked at Tommy. “Which house?”</p><p>Tommy groaned. “You know what I mean!” Dia snorted. “Relax. That’s just Schlatt’s friend, or something.” Tommy crossed his arms. “Or something?” Then, he looked at Schlatt. “And a friend?” Schlatt sent him an offended look. “What?” “Never thought you had any, really.” Schlatt winced. “That was unnecessary.” Tommy grinned. “Ohhhh yes it was.” He nodded to himself. “Yes it was.” </p><p>Dia raised their hands up in defense. “Hey. I was pretty out of it last night. It was pretty late for me and the egg in my room.” </p><p>“Were you drugged?” Tommy asked, taking a step back. Schlatt laughed. “No, no. No one’s- no one’s drugged, Toms.” Tommy still wasn’t convinced. “Then- then why’s the troll all whoozy-looking then? Is- are they even alright?” Dia cackled. “YOU look whoozy!”</p><p>“See!?” Schlatt sighed. “Alright, Gep, that’s enough of watching YouTube videos. Let’s get you back to bed.” Dia lightly chuckled. “Ha. Gep.”</p><p>As Schlatt guided Dia up the stairs, Tommy looked back at the sleeping figure on the couch…who had both eyes open. </p><p>Tommy screamed, quickly snatching his baseball bat from the counter. The “stranger” sat up and yawned, rubbing their eyes. And Tommy, using what he learned from his… “past job”, placed the bat in front of him in a defensive stance.</p><p>“Hey.” The Guy, who he was now referring to as…Guy, stared back. “…hey.” Tommy raised a brow, circling the couch. “Just hey?” He was about to approach Guy before Schlatt tripped down the stairs, landing on the floor with a thud in front of him. He suddenly sat up. “No one’s dead right.” He stated, not really asking.</p><p>Tommy scoffed. “Yet.” The Guy tensed up at that. “Well, uh.” Schlatt stood up, dusting himself off before taking a step back. “Cooper,” He gestured to Guy, “meet Tommy. And Tommy,” He huffed, “meet Cooper.”</p><p>No one talked after that. Schlatt sighed. “I’ll leave you guys here I guess, since <em>no one’s</em>  going to <em>kill</em> each other anymore.” He looked at Tommy, who was scowling. “…great talk. I’ll be in my room if you need me.” He quickly went upstairs, leaving the two streamers behind.</p><p>“…hello- “<br/>
“Cooper is a shit name.” They both started at the same time. Then, silence. </p><p>“…fuck you.” He paused. “Bitch.” He added for extra measure, and because he was such a nice gentleman. Honestly, that Cooper Guy should be thankful that he reminded him of his place in this household. God forbid that Guy forgot about it just because he was Schlatt’s “friend.”</p><p>He was still convinced that he broke into their house.</p><p> I mean, come on. He even looks as if he’s about to break into a house, only to get caught by the police as he steals a vase that could be sold for only 2 dollars.</p><p>Tommy blinked. Okay. He didn’t know where that came from.</p><p>Then again, every cent counts just as Stampy said, especially when they stole- ahem. Borrowed his credit card to buy 5 boxes full of gummy worms. And I guess one bazooka, but that was beside the point.</p><p>Tommy quickly left the room, heading towards his own and locking the door behind him. He sighed, tossing himself on his bed. He turned around only to see his shelf full of YouTooz figurines and other things. </p><p>The most noticeable ones out of all of them were a Schlatt and Vikkstar one. They were still in their cases. Meanwhile, a beheaded Dream figurine was on the ground, with “blood” splattered on it after the great “Slippery Pole” incident. It was a tribute to the feeling of hatred that he felt towards his brother when he greased his pole (Of course, a spare YouTooz Dream was given mercy and was placed in his closet).</p><p>“At least Vikkstar has my back.” </p><p>Then, he directed his attention to the dead Dream. Its decapitated head was mocking him with the small smiley face on the mask. He stared at it for a few seconds, which turned into minutes. Then minutes, turned into hours. </p><p>2 hours have passed.</p><p>He promptly gave it the middle finger.</p><p>“Suck it, green boooooyyyyyy- “</p>
<hr/><p>The moment that Tommy’s bedroom door slammed shut, Schlatt quickly went downstairs to check on Cooper.</p><p>“Did he bite you?” Cooper looked at him with a face of disgust. “He bites???” “Yeah, duh- “</p><p>Schlatt shook his head. “Never mind- you’re in one piece?” Cooper nodded slowly. “Good. I’m supposed to show you around before lunch.” Cooper raised a brow. “But I just got here- “Schlatt quickly shushed him. “You look too much like an American with poor health insurance or something. I need to bask you in the glory of England and the Queen.” He smiled. “But of course, no one can beat the Pope.”</p><p>Cooper rolled his eyes. Of course he’d bring up the Pope. “Can I just rest for a while- “</p><p>Again, he was interrupted by Schlatt. “Eat some breakfast and go change or something. You fucking stink.” Cooper sighed, giving up on the conversation. He stood up from the couch, heading to the kitchen before Schlatt grabbed his arm. “Not in that order, go- go change. You really, REALLY stink. I can’t have that shitty smell in MY house.”</p><p>Cooper snorted. “Bet.” “Cooper Cscoop, I swear to the fucking Pope- “</p><p>In the end, he was quickly dragged to his room, which was right beside Schlatt’s by the way, upstairs. Thankfully, the shower was easy to use, and he didn’t have to ask Schlatt how to change the temperature of the water. Because, let’s face it, that would be pretty awkward.</p><p>Once he dried himself off, he finally got changed. He was wearing his “VERY COOL” hoodie and some normal black pants. He grabbed a random pair of sneakers from one of his bags, and that’s when he realized that he never got the chance to unpack. He sighed. He’ll do that later once they get back from whatever “tour” Schlatt’s going to give him.</p><p>He stuffed his phone into his pocket, and just opted to let his earphones hang on his neck instead. He took a few minutes to comb his hair and, in his words, look a <em>bit</em> presentable enough that Schlatt wouldn’t bug him about his looks instead of his smell…just in case. Just in case.</p><p>He finally got downstairs, where Schlatt was waiting by the kitchen. This time, someone else was with him. </p><p>“Nice to see you’ve already changed, Cooper.” </p><p>A man wearing a <em>disgusting</em> lime-green hoodie greeted him with a small hello before digging into his pancakes. “Who’s the new guy?” Schlatt snorted. “Technically, you’re the new guy here. But uh, his name’s Clay.” Cooper raised a brow. “For someone named Clay, his hoodie is disgusting.” </p><p>Clay suddenly dropped his fork and groaned. “For the last time! My hoodie is NOT disgusting! It’s part of my brand!” Schlatt rolled his eyes. “And your brand <em>sucks</em>.”</p><p>“What IS his brand anyways?”</p><p>Schlatt shuddered. “A small white blob with an unsettling smile and the worst color to ever exist to accompany him.” Cooper’s eyes widened. “So…this guy is…?” Schlatt slowly nodded, pushing a plate full of pancakes towards Cooper. “Eat your fucking pancakes before I force them down your throat.”</p><p>Cooper cautiously grabbed his fork and began eating. Schlatt grinned. “That wasn’t so hard now, was it? Anyways, Dream, anything you want me to buy from the store?” Dream nodded. “Some bandages? And some scrunchies, my hair’s getting longer. Oh, and- “</p><p>“I am not buying you a fucking shovel, Dream.”</p><p>“But- “</p><p>“Shush.”</p><p>Dream pouted, staring at his pancakes as if they murdered his whole family. “The pancakes did nothing wrong, now eat them.” Schlatt stated. “Okay, .” Schlatt glared at him. “Stop calling me that or else I’ll buy that shovel- “Dream perked up, “-and go all Awesamdude to your fucking Ponk.” (Translation: I will buy that shovel, bury your body, and use it as fucking fertilizer)</p><p>Cooper gulped down the rest of his pancake. It was in that very moment that he realized that living with Schlatt was going to be the embodiment of an episode of Living with the Kardashians.</p><p>Except better. And not fake.</p><p>“Not even if I give you Twitch Primes?” (Translation: I will forever be in debt to you)</p><p>“…I’ll consider it if you let me go all Insanebur. For ONE day.” (Translation: Let me go apeshit)</p><p>“Never- never mind.”</p><p>“Come on, Dream. Please.”</p><p>“Hm. Nah.”</p><p>“I hate you so much.”</p><p>“Okay furry.”</p><p>Schlatt gasped. “I’m- I’m not a fucking furry!” Cooper decided to intervene. “I mean, your pfp is a literal goat.” …but not for the better, I guess.</p><p>“Ram.” Schlatt corrected. “Whatever, still. You’re a furry.” Dream’s eyes widened. “Oh my god, Cooler.” Cooper winced. “It’s Cooper- ““SCHLATT, YOU’RE A FUNDY!” (Translation: FURRYFURRYFURRY FURRY BOY FURRY MAN FURRY FUCK FURRY FURRY)</p><p>“WHAT- NO I’M NOT.”</p><p>“OH MY GOD YOU’RE- YOU’RE WALMART FUNDY!” (Translation: Walmart FURRYFURRYFURRY FURRY BOY FURRY MAN FURRY FUCK FURRY FURRY)</p><p>“NO.”</p><p>“AWWW, WHO’S MY LITTLE CHAMPION.” (Translation: Still a furry little champion)</p><p>“OH MY GOD, I HATE YOU. FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU.”</p><p>“You could’ve just asked.” They both turned to look at Cooper. One was horrified, while the other was grinning widely. “Oh my god, Schlatt- Schlatt can we keep him?” Schlatt didn’t respond. “I’ll take that as yes, oh my god. Cootie, we’re going to have so much fun.“ </p><p>Cooper was about to correct him once more, but he decided against it.</p><p>He dug his grave.</p><p>Now he was going to sit in it, and cry for the following weeks to come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH<br/>3523 words-<br/>Join the discord pls: https://discord.gg/YcZXMPpbR8</p>
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  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
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        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30438330">Gymnastics is more fun when your brothers do it with you</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bonfirefly/pseuds/Bonfirefly">Bonfirefly</a>
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